West Canada Lakes Wilderness, New York

The West Canada Lakes Wilderness of the Adirondacks would serve as the venue for the 2009 Academy Graduates Backpacking Trip.  Mark Raven, Matt Raven, Nick Handley, Dan Ferren, and Dustin Farmer met at Cross Community Church in Elyria, Ohio just before 6:00 AM on Friday, August 14.  Excellent time was made into New York until our first stop for gas on the Thruway near Rochester, where we were greeted with 1970s style gas lines.  One more stop was made just outside the Adirondack Park border for some final sustenance before leaving civilization.  Some difficulty was had finding our final road to the Trailhead (Jessup River Road named by Google Maps and National Geographic’s software is in reality marked as Perkins Clearing Road), but we reached the Pillsbury Mountain Trailhead and hit the trail at 3:30 PM. 

We quickly made our way up the gradual incline of the Cedar Lakes Trail for 1.6 miles and then made a turn onto the Pillsbury Lake Trail.  We reached Pillsbury Lake to find the lean-to occupied by an old man with his dog, who inquired of us where we were from and what day it was.  The next stretch of trail from Pillsbury Lake to Sampson Lake would be the most difficult terrain of the loop.  Many parts of the trail were so muddy and wet that it required significant bushwhacking to get around without completely soaking our footwear for the remainder of the trip.  After reaching Sampson Lake and enjoying the view from the lean-to, we continued on to the wooden bridge crossing West Canada Creek.  With the sun having already dipped below the tree line, we were relieved to discover the West Canada Creek Lean-to just yards up the trail and unoccupied.  Camp was set up and all soon retired to their quarters.  Early in the night, we were awakened and alarmed by the sound of a bear tearing through the lean-to.  Thankfully, we learned that this thunderous noise was exactly the same sound that Dan makes when he rolls over. 

Saturday morning started early, with Dustin rising from his tent in a vain attempt to warm his frigid being with a horse blanket, nicotine, and a breakfast buffet he found hanging from a tree not far from the lean-to.  After filtering water, we began down the Northville-Placid Trail by 9:00 AM.  After a short stretch of dry trail, and meeting a pair of gentlemen who considered our itinerary to be insane, we crossed South Lake and then onto the West Canada Creek Lean-to #1, which was not on our map but would be an excellent place to camp.  As we approached West Lake, the trail bore overwhelming evidence to recent and substantial flooding.  At some points, we were given the eerie perception of actually looking up at the lake from the trail.  The bridge across West Lake provided some much needed dry steps and an outstanding view of the lake and mountains beyond.  From here on out, the trails would become increasingly passable.  Near King’s Pond, we encountered a swarm of Bald-faced Hornets, and these agents of evil inflicted great pain and damaged morale.  At our first glimpse of the Cedar Lakes, we took a break for lunch and filtering water.  Rather than following the shore of the lake, as it should, the trail uneventfully leads away from the lake and climbs Cobble Hill.  Descending Cobble Hill brought us to a bridge that crosses at the intersection of Beaver Pond (fully equipped with a beaver dam under the bridge) and Cedar Lake.  In less than a mile, we reached the final Cedar Lake Lean-to and our best lake view of the trip, with the ominous Pillsbury Mountain looming in the distance.  Our trek soon left the Northville-Placid Trail as we crossed the end of Cedar Lake onto the Cedar Lakes Trail, which took us back to the Pillsbury Trailhead and the van.

Upon returning to the van, the decision made by Nick earlier in the day to forego the climb of Pillsbury Mountain was confirmed.  After a short period of rest and refueling, the remaining four hikers began the assault on the Doughboy at 5:00 PM.  The trail initially descends and crosses the Miami River before beginning its steep climb.  Early on, it became apparent that Dan would not be able to complete the hike, and the prudent decision was made to turn back and join Nick at the van.  Mark, Matt, and Dustin did reach the summit of the Doughboy, and were greeted by snakes, a welcomed breeze, and the defunct Pillsbury Fire Tower.  No views can be seen from the ground, so a climb up the fire tower is mandatory.  From the fire tower, we saw one of the most spectacular 360-degree views we had seen in the East so far, especially looking north into the High Peaks region.  Hoping for five minutes of rest after climbing down the tower, we were driven from the summit by swarms of midges.  The 1,500-foot descent down the 1.7-mile Pillsbury Mountain trail seemed to take forever, and did.  We returned to the van and were on the road by 8:00 PM.  A stop was made in the tourist town of Speculator, New York at the Mountain Market for some sustenance, and then at McDonalds along the Thruway near Syracuse before returning to Cross Community at 5:30 AM. 

Mark, Matt, and Dustin hiked 23 miles during the 29 hours in the West Canada Lakes, with Dan hiking 20 miles and Nick 19.5.  While the elevation changes on the loop were short and very gradual, the terrain proved difficult to maneuver due to unseasonably wet weather (although warm, humid weather without precipitation was enjoyed during our trip).  The lake views were outstanding, and the views from the Doughboy were spectacular.  The West Canada Lakes Wilderness was a fine venue for the 2009 Academy Graduates Backpacking Trip, with future trips into the Adirondacks being warranted. 

Mount Rogers Trip Report, July 2012

 Mount Rogers National Recreation Area

And Grayson Highlands State Park

Virginia

July 26 & 27, 2012

Thursday, July 26

At 9:00 AM, I left Lagrange, Ohio for Grayson Highlands State Park.  Matt and Amy Raven departed from Columbus, Ohio about half an hour later.  Thanks to a disagreement between my Google Maps and their Garmin, I was able to make up a 40-mile deficit and catch up to Matt and Amy before arriving at Grayson Highlands.  After setting up camp, we decided to check out a few of the State Park’s trails, the first being the Cabin Creek Trail.  The trail starts through a thicket of rhododendrons and gradually descends to Cabin Creek, then follows the cascading creek to Cabin Creek Falls before climbing back along the ridge to the car.  The other trail we hiked before dark was the Rock House Ridge trail.  We quickly discovered that the Rock House was a large rock that they had put a picnic table next to at the trailhead.  The trail did take us to one view, the same view that could be seen from the overlook on the road.  At the end of the trail (or beginning, depending on your start) were a few replica 19^th century buildings that gave off a PBS-vibe, so we went back to the car.  Returning to the campground, we soon retired for the evening. 

Friday, July 27

Unbeknownst to us at the time, going to bed would not result in sleep.  The forestation at the campground is thick, and while we did not feel the full force of the wind on the ground, we could hear it ripping through the trees above like a freight train.  At various times throughout the night, each of us believed that would be meeting our maker or going to need a new car. 

With a potential threat of rain by early afternoon and nobody sleeping anyways, we got up shortly after 6:00AM, took down camp and made the short drive to the trailhead at Massie Gap.  As we began the 4-mile climb, it was still very windy and dark clouds were cruising by us and through us.  The first part of the trail was not very steep and well maintained and we made good time.  When we came to a large thicket of bushes, we encountered several of the wild ponies for which the Grayson Highlands and Mount Rogers are known.  There was little time for socializing as both parties were all business (us getting up and down that mountain as quickly as possible and breakfast for them).  From that point, the trail turned to the right and the trail became considerably more rocky.  The higher we climbed, visibilities decreased, both above and below us, depending on where the clouds were rolling through.  After accomplishing most the climbing we would have to do, the trail turned sharply and flattened out, and we were able to do this section in quick order.  We passed the Appalachian Trail shelter, where a few people had stayed the night before, and from there began the final climb to the summit (we could not see the rest of the mountain we were about to climb due to clouds and fog).  The summit of Mount Rogers is very different from the rest of the climb, it is completely wooded with no views.  It was very dark and wet, reminiscent of the kind of place something bad would be about to happen in the movies.  There are two summit markers, both are on large rocks and there is no sign designating that you’ve arrived.  After wandering around for a while, Amy spotted one of the markers and we sat on the rock and consumed snack cakes. 

As we began the descent down Mount Rogers, the skies gradually began to clear and by the time we had reached the boundary of the Grayson Highlands the sun was out in full force and it actually had warmed up considerably.  The return hike went quickly, but the rocky climb down the mountain had resulted in sore feet and knees.  We returned to the campground, showered, and departed Grayson (me for home, Matt and Amy for Virginia Beach).  The return drive for me was not an easy one, driving through storms in West Virginia, Akron-Canton, and the final stretch up Route 301 without the aid of AC or defrost.  I returned home at 9PM. 

Mount Rogers ranks as one of my favorite mountain summits.  The wide open views and climate were comparable to what you might expect in the Scottish Highlands rather than western Virginia.  In retrospect, we were blessed with the weather we experienced, with the wind and clouds on the ascent and clearing skies on the way back, we got to see Mount Rogers in different ways on the same hike.  Its reputation as one of the jewels of the Appalachians is confirmed.   

My experience at today's Paul Ryan event

Sunday morning, I got an email with a link to get some tickets to a campaign rally with Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan for Tuesday.  I've never been to a political event before, but I've never been this pleased with a national candidate, either, so I decided to go.  The event was to be at the Westlake Recreation Center, somewhere I know pretty well from delivering pizzas there.  I wasn't sure how many tickets were given out or how many would be there, but it became apparent as I turned onto Hilliard Blvd.  Cars were lined up on both sides of Hilliard and all through the surrounding neighborhoods, I ended up parking about a mile away.  There was some security we had to go through to get into the Rec Center, comparable to what you might go through at the airport.  The Plain Dealer estimated the crowd in the gym at about 2,000 people, which sounds like a reasonable guess to me.   

The Mayor of Westlake was already speaking when I found a place behind some very short old ladies by the west wall of the gym.  After him, the mayor of Brecksville came and said a few things.  As you might expect from being in a gymnasium with 2,000 people, it was incredibly humid.  Just before noon (when the rally was scheduled to begin), a secret service agent came and stood right next to us for a few minutes.  I'm glad they're there, but his proximity fed my suspicion that I'm on the President's enemies list for my facebook statuses and past blog postings.  One of the old ladies approached him, asking him how to turn her cell phone ringer off (as if anyone could have possibly heard it).  He quickly showed her how and promptly left for another position.  At about 12:15 PM, Congressman Renacci (freshman from Medina, serves on the budget committee chaired by Ryan) came out to introduce the Vice Presidential candidate.

Ryan began by laying out the case against President Obama's governance.  The way he did it was compelling, not through meaningless mean-spirited attacks and accusations, but with facts and statistics, specifically when he compared the economic numbers today with those of 1980, the final year of the Carter administration.  The numbers are the numbers.  Foreclosures, bankruptcies, unemployment, increased poverty, 16 trillion in debt, trillion dollar deficits, downgraded credit rating, etc, etc.  A free thinking individual can't argue with those facts, which is why during the Democrat Convention this week we should expect to hear about Romney's money, free birth control and of course, racism!

At the mention of the credit rating downgrade, a young man up front (who apparently had to crawl out of his basement this morning to collect his paycheck from George Soros) began shouting, but was promptly drowned by a sea of USA chants and escorted out by law enforcement.  They marched him out just a few feet in front of us, looking as if he was about tear up.

 

Surrounded by a few thousand of his fellow racists, Ryan followed up his indictment of the President with his reasons why Romney's resume and record make him the man to turn America around.  This was also compelling--Romney is undoubtedly a successful and accomplished man with experience in the private and public sectors.  The final leg of his speech was devoted to the idea of America.  His proclamation that "we will not replace our founding principles, we will reapply them" triggers bright light and Hallelujah choruses in my head.  Unquestionably the loudest applause during the whole event came when Ryan said "our rights come from nature and from God, not from government."  Ryan spoke for only twenty minutes, which seemed to fly by despite the uncomfortable atmosphere of the gym.

Walking back to the car, we were met by protesters!  They had signs and marching around in a 10 foot circle crying "Hands off our Medicare!  Hands off our Medicare!".  Of course, given the age of these folks and the current projection of when Medicare becomes insolvent, Medicare will be gone decades before they can get it.  I didn't count how many there were, but it was the equivalent of how many people show up to Indians Opening Day to protest the use of the name "Indians".  I almost shook my fist and told them to get a job, but they have a job, as a protester earning cigarettes from one of the Soros front groups.

In all, it was an interesting American political experience, and given how close and how important Ohio is to this election and the future of the country, there should be many more opportunities to engage the candidates before November 6.  Consider doing so. 
 

Red River Gorge Trip Report 2010

This trip happened over two years ago, but I just finished the report... so here it is.  Enjoy it if you possibly can.  

Daniel Boone National Forest

Red River Gorge and Clifty Wilderness

Kentucky

April 5-7, 2010

On Easter Sunday night, Mark Raven and Carlos Brown departed from Regal Cinemas in Sheffield, Ohio (after having watched Clash of the Titans) for Matt Raven’s house in Columbus.  We reached Columbus three hours later, having fought through two major traffic jams on I-71, and promptly retired.  Our departure for the Red River Gorge would come at 9:30 AM.  A stop was made at Meijer in Florence, Kentucky to secure provisions for the trip. 

Upon reaching Slade, Kentucky in the early afternoon, our first order of business was to wake up Carlos and find a place to camp, and we selected a site on the primitive loop at Whittleton Campground in the Natural Bridge Resort State Park.  The temperature was in the mid-80s, which seemed very hot to some northern Ohioans in early April.  Given its proximity to our campground, we decided to hike and sweat our way up to Natural Bridge and further to the Lookout Point where the views were enjoyed.  After the 400- foot descent to the car, we took the long way around the Gorge through Nada Tunnel to Sky Bridge.  Our stay at Sky Bridge was brief as a rain shower passed through the area, prompting us to go to Miguel’s Pizza and Rock Climbing for dinner.  This place was swamped with rock climbers and locals feeding on the Mexican variation of Chef Boyardee pizza served at Miguel’s.  We returned to the peaceful refuge of Whittleton and Carlos built a small fire, we threw some Frisbee, showered, and went to bed.

After sleeping in, our first destination of the day would be Auxier Ridge.  We stopped at the overlook on Tunnel Ridge Road and passed various trailheads before reaching the end of the road and the Auxier Ridge Trailhead.  Before beginning our trek, we observed that it was already rather hot.  The hike along the ridge descended gradually before flattening out.  After a mile in, we reached the outstanding views (looking both east and west from the ridge) for which Auxier Ridge is known, and they did not disappoint.  Here we enjoyed the views of Double Arch, Haystack Rock, and Courthouse Rock while fighting to keep our balance in the mighty, but refreshing, wind.  Just before reaching Courthouse Rock, we met a pair of older gentlemen from Louisville (Lou-uh-vool).  From these yammering old geezers we learned that the return trail we had planned on taking was uneventful and included over a mile of road walking, so we decided that we would return the way we had came.  Back at the car we learned that the temperature had risen to 88 degrees, which was no surprise to us.  Our next stop was Gray’s Arch.  The trail goes about a mile and then turns steeply down hill to below the arch where it can be viewed and a short climb back up to the arch.  Carlos deemed this area below the arch as “the corner of the universe”.  Before leaving, we made use of the cold water falling from the ledge over 100 feet above us to cool off, all of which had evaporated and been replaced with new perspiration by the time we returned to the car.  We decided to head back to Slade for Subway.  The Subway in Slade, Kentucky (population 38 as of the 2000 census) was the largest and nicest Subway we had ever seen.  Topping off our refills, we went down the winding gravel road into the Clifty Wilderness to see Rock Bridge and Creation Falls.  The short loop trail descends through some thick Rhododendron (monkey trees, as they were termed by my brother on a trip here 14 years earlier).  Creation Falls is not impressive in its size, but its setting is picturesque.  The falls tumbles into a sandy pool that drains into Swift Camp Creek.  Crossing over to the sand bar on the other side of the creek to get a closer look at the falls, we found a marine serpent-like creature that we have yet to identify, despite having a photograph of it.  Still puzzled by what we saw, we continued on to Rock Bridge, which is just around the corner from Creation Falls.  Rock Bridge is an arch that forms a natural bridge over Swift Camp Creek.  After the short ascent back to the car, we decided with the daylight running short, we would drive up to Chimney Top Rock to view the sunset and conclude the hiking portion of our trip.  A short ways down the trail, we came across a motorized chair on its side with a very large man sitting in the middle of the trail.  We quickly deduced that he had fallen out of the chair and could not get back in.  He had a good number of his family was with him, but they were all on their phones trying to call for help.  In talking with him, we learned that he could not get back up into the chair because he cannot bend his legs.  He really wanted to try to get back in the chair and with no timetable given for help to arrive, Carlos and I, along with another guy, would try to get him back into the chair.  The problem was that we needed to get up the trail a few yards to the chair (the chair couldn’t handle a section of trail and that’s why it fell, the trail is handicap accessible, but not handicap friendly) and that he was a very heavy man.  As we got him, somehow I ended up bear-hugging him from the front, being absorbed into his sweaty lard and carrying the brunt of the weight.  As his family looked on, we were able to get him up to and into his chair and we raced down the trail to the overlook for what was left of the sunset, satisfied and feeling good that we were able to help.  We were surprised to find two guys with a violin and cello and some sound equipment preparing to play music into the night.  We saw an excellent sunset over the hills and returned back to camp for showers and then bed.  

 

We woke up at 9:00 AM, took down camp and checked out of Whittleton Campground.  After 15 minutes on the road, Carlos, who had already slept nine hours that night, went back to sleep.  We stopped at a rest area just north of Cincinnati, where I used the handicap stall thinking it would be cleaner, but was occupying it when a real handicapped person came to use it, to my shame.  Carlos went back to sleep and when he awoke, we had returned to Elyria and consumed vast amounts of PINO (Pizza In Name Only) at CiCi’s before church. 

In all, Carlos and I hiked 11.5 miles through the unseasonable early April heat and did some importing scouting of the Red River Gorge for a trip I would lead there for Royal Rangers in August, making this venture successful, worthwhile, and enjoyable.     

Trip Report: Mammoth Cave National Park

Thursday, May 10

Matt Winfree and I departed from my residence in Lagrange, Ohio at 9:00 AM under blue skies and seasonable temperatures.  By 9:10AM all donuts had been consumed and the first box of fudge rounds had been opened.  The choice of leaving at 9:00 AM was a wise one, as we missed any heavy traffic in all three major cities we passed through… Columbus, Cincinnati and Louisville.  South of Louisville on I-65 we saw a sign for the General Patton Museum of Leadership in Fort Knox and a decision was quickly made to check it out on the way home.  We arrived at Mammoth Cave Campground at 3:00 PM (Mammoth Cave is just barely in the Central time zone).  The campground to my surprise and delight was nearly empty and we selected a site and set up camp by 3:20PM.  With plenty of daylight to work with, we went to the Visitor Center just to the north of the campground to check out some of the trails in that area.  It was here that I discovered that my camera was without a memory card and that I would be relying solely on my Droid for photography.  We took the path behind the Visitor Center to the Historic Entrance of Mammoth Cave, where the River Styx Spring Trail begins.  The trail goes downhill to the Green River and a spectacular view of River Styx (dried up creek that drains into a hole).  From there we took the Green River Bluffs Trail back uphill along the river until we came to the junction of the Dixon Cave Trail.  Dixon Cave was a deep and inspiring recess in the earth (a hole).  We traced our steps back to the Green River Bluffs Trail and continued the climb back to the Visitor Center, with one view of the Green River.  Leaving the Visitor Center, we drove to the Cedar Sink Trail.  The trail descended to the depths of the impressive Cedar Sink (a large hole) and back up to the car.  Just down the road was the closest restaurant I could find to the Campground, the Porky Pig Diner.  It was about 6:00PM and we were the only people there, other than the owner (wearing a doo-rag, sleeveless shirt, sweat pants and a cigarette) and a few employees.  The waiter came up to us and told us what the specials were, and since he didn’t give us a menu, we figured we were expected to get one of the specials, so we both opted for the country-fried steak.  The food, along with silverware in a plastic bag, came up in good order and was actually pretty darned good southern-style food.  The Porky Pig Diner reminded me a lot of some old places I had eaten at in West Virginia, except the food was good.  On the way back into the Park and with time to kill before dark, we stopped at the Turnhole Bend Trail, a short loop trail to a view of a bend in the Green River (obstructed glimpses of the alleged river through leaves).  From there we returned to the Visitor Center and hiked the Heritage Trail behind the Mammoth Hotel to Sunset Point and back down into the woods via the Mammoth Dome Sink Trail to see the Mammoth Dome Sink (small hole filled with sticks).  Hiking back up to the Heritage Trail, we witnessed a turkey make like a helicopter and fly straight up about 30 feet into the top of a tree and paid our respects to Stephen Bishop, a long-time guide and explorer of the cave buried here in 1857.  At dusk, the Park becomes littered with deer.  They loiter in the campgrounds, parking lots, and anywhere else they feel like being without regard for human activity.  In all, we counted 38 turkeys and 28 deer in our time at Mammoth Cave.  Back at camp, we listened to the Indians beat the Red Sox and General Patton’s famous speech to the Third Army before retiring around midnight. 

Friday, May 11

At around 10:00 AM we drove to the Sand Cave Trail at the park boundary.  This was a short, easy trail to Sand Cave, which was every bit the equal of the natural wonders we saw the previous day (a hole).  We went into Cave City, Mammoth Cave’s gateway town, for lunch at McDonalds, where I was asked by a gentleman to come out to his car and buy some Adidas clothes for cheap.  Cave City is a tourist trap that would fulfill all of Clark Griswold’s wildest family vacation dreams.  Dinosaur World, Redneck putt-putt, Guntown Mountain, zip line, bumper boats, go-carts, Jesse James mini-golf, a wax museum, Huckleberry Hill Village and Fudge, Big Mike’s Mystery House, and of course, Jellystone Park are just a few of the amazing attractions to be enjoyed in Cave City.  We returned to the Visitor Center at 1:30PM for the Violet City Lantern Tour.  This three-hour tour (a three-hour tour) is lit by lantern only and has a more historical focus than geological.  Our guide was a younger guy who was the guide on a tour two days earlier where a visitor from Florida had a heart attack and died in the Cave (the first fatality since the 1980s).  He has a long family history with the Cave and provided a lot of interesting information.  Our tour started off 16 people, but after an old lady (who asked the guide a question and then told him he was wrong) was found to be on the wrong tour, we thankfully down to 14.  The tour started at the Historic Entrance, said to have been rediscovered by a settler in the early 1800’s who had shot and wounded a bear and followed it into the cave.  First, we came to a large room called the Rotunda Room, where we saw the remains of a saltpeter mining operation that was used to make gunpowder during the War of 1812.  They had made a piping system out of hollowed out poplar trees to transport the saltpeter through a solution back to the surface.  We then came to a place called the Church, a room where services were held during the 1830’s.  The preacher would climb to a ledge on the wall and preach in front of the lantern light for up to four and five hours.  After going through a passage called Broadway, we were told to look behind us, and the opening from which was came when illuminated looked like the figure of a portly old woman, which was named Martha Washington’s Ghost.  Mrs. Washington would not be flattered by this memorializing of her likeness.  In the Main Cave, we saw a giant stone called Giant’s Coffin, some Indian artifacts and two disturbing stone buildings that were used as hospitals for tuberculosis patients, some of whom spent the last six months of their lives without seeing the surface.  We then passed through Wright’s Rotunda (where plans were made to build a hotel but never happened) and the Cataracts before reaching Chief City, the largest known room in the Cave at about two acres in size.  The tour ended with a steep climb to the Violet City Entrance and out to the bus that took us back to the Visitor Center and walked across the Lysol mats which was designed as a precautionary step to halt the potential spread of White Nose Disease in bats from cave to cave in the area.  Now being 5:00 PM, the search for food began.  We went to Brownsville, but didn’t really find anything we were looking for, so we drove back to Cave City and then onto Horse City to a pizza place called Snappy’s.  It was kind of like frozen pizza, but it was hot and good enough, also allowing me to maintain my integrity by not going to Pizza Hut.  We stopped at Dairy Queen for Confetti Cake blizzards, the top half of which was excellent.  We returned to camp for hot showers and bed.  I heard some very strange noises off in the distance and then very near our tent during the night.  Once I figure out how to describe what I heard, you can read my account on the Bigfoot Research Organization’s website. 

Saturday, May 12

We arose at 9:00AM, took down camp and left our temporary residence at Mammoth Cave Campground at 9:20AM.  Our tour at 10:00AM, the Grand Avenue Tour, was sold out (70 participants).  The Grand Avenue Tour is a 4.5-hour, 4-mile tour that the park considers to be difficult because of the terrain, which ascends and descends three levels of the cave.  Our tour guide was an older guy named Kevin.  He reminded me of a character actor that could have played a goofy cowboy in an old western on an episode of Bonanza.  He was humorous and informative, putting on a good show.  The tour begins at the man-made Carmichael Entrance, where I resisted the temptation to scare the bats on the wall and start a panic.  We immediately went down 180 feet of stairs and walked a long, wide tunnel called Cleaveland Avenue.  Arriving at the Snowball Room (named by one of the early guides because it looked like someone had thrown snowballs at the ceiling) we stopped for a lunch break.  The Snowball Room was made into a cafeteria that is connected to the surface by an elevator.  The wait wasn’t as long as I thought it would be and soon we were onto the Narrows, another lengthy stretch of cave that is reminiscent of the slot canyons in the American southwest.  From here, the trail became more difficult as it was constantly up and down between the three levels of the Cave.  We climbed Mount McKinley and passed through the Grand Canyon into the “New” section of the cave, owned by George Morrison in the 1920’s who was constantly trying to figure out how to make more money from his section of the Cave.  The final stretch of the Cave had more of the cave formations that people expect when they go caving, including Mammoth Cave’s most famous formation, Frozen Niagara.  After a short wait, we were taken back to the Visitor Center, grabbed a quick shower and left Mammoth Cave National Park.  We did go to the Patton Museum in Fort Knox, Kentucky, getting there about 20 minutes before close.  The museum had some incredibly cool exhibits, including tanks, vehicles, weapons, and especially Patton’s famous silver plated, ivory-handled Colt .45.  We drove through Louisville listening to classic country and stopped for gas and Wendy’s near Florence, Kentucky and eventually returned home just before midnight.  Four-dozen snack cakes were consumed on the trip. 

Conclusion

Mammoth Cave is the longest known cave system in the world at 392 miles.  The size and scope of the Cave makes it a natural wonder and the history of the cave adds to the interest.  With a constant temperature of around 54 degrees, anytime of year would be a good time to go into the Cave and it makes for a cool weekend road trip.  The Violet City and Grand Avenue Tours are highly recommended, especially together because of the amount of the Cave that is covered between the two tours.  The trails offer value only in getting some exercise or offering something to do while not in the cave.  Turkeys and deer abound.  In all, we hiked 5.9 miles on the surface and 7 miles in the underworld labyrinth of Mammoth Cave.                                                 

Restaurant Review: Happy Hippo Eatery

I decided to go to this Brunswick restaurant on the recommendation of my father.  He spoke glowingly of great burgers and mounds of sweet potato fries and he has never steered me wrong in this regard.  The Happy Hippo is on Pearl Road north of Brunswick, south of Strongsville.

When we first walked in on this Thursday evening at 6:00 PM, a couple of things stood out to me  immediately.  The restaurant was nearly empty during prime dining hours, there were white table clothes on all the tables and booths (which I found odd for a burger joint), and the funny older Mexican gentleman with the mullet that eventually greeted us at the door.  He seated us in a booth and took or drink orders.  A young Mexican girl came out to take our order, and then another Mexican fellow brought us out chips and a substance to dip them in.  It was at this point I began to consider the possibility that this place had changed some since my old man had been here last.

The menu had a little bit of everything, but not alot of anything.  I had mostly pre-determined that I was getting a burger, and I asked the waitress if she had any recommendations, as I often do.  She kind of looked at me blankly and then told me about the fajitas.  In the description of the Hippo House Burger I noticed that it listed a special secret ingredient.  I've seen special sauces and such before, but never a special ingredient on a burger.  We asked her about this, and she responded that they haven't told her what it is.  At that point, curiosity got the best of me and I ordered it, Carlos ordered cod.  After ordering, we tried the chips and the mystery sauce/salsa that came with them.  It was runny with a light green color, and tasted rather bitter.  My best guess is that it was some form of humus, but I did drop some off at NASA on the way home for testing.

The service from our waitress was inconsistent, leaving us for extended periods without beverage, but we were understanding towards her once we considered the possibility that she might not be getting paid.

There was flat screen TV in the dining room playing a movie, loud enough for us to hear Chris Rock and Ice Cube dropping F-bombs and large enough for us to see Tracy Morgan get Danny Glover's fecal matter on his hands and a naked guy sitting on a roof (I have no idea what this movie was).  Eventually the other customer complained and they turned the channel.

Our food came out in good order and I was curious to see what the secret ingredient was.  Beneath the lettuce, under the tomato and onion, and there it was... a gooey black pile of something.  I think there were a few different kind of peppers or vegetables that had been cooked in some type of blackened sauce.  It was quite strong and kind of bitter, enough so that I was sick of it by the time I got halfway through the burger.  My whole plate was covered in a puddle of black juices, which soaked through the pretzel bun.  It takes an extreme situation for me not to eat everything on my plate, but today presented a circumstance that required such action.  I graciously left a good tip and we were on our way. 

My assumption is that Happy Hippo had a recent ownership change and is a restaurant in an identity crisis, but as we left, our waitress welcomed us to come back this Saturday to try their all new menu, as they are changing to a "half Italian, half Mexican" restaurant, which sounds like an excellent business model that should breed success.  They seemed like nice people and I wish them all the best in their pursuit of the American Dream, but I fear the realities of capitalism will have something to say about that.  

My trip to the movies this afternoon...

I have not had much free time lately, but today I found myself up north (Elyria) with a few hours to kill so I decided to go see a movie.  The only movie that fit my time frame was Immortals, so I decided to do it.  There was an elderly couple in front of me in line, and I was kind of curious to hear what movie they were about to see because there really wasn't much playing at the time.  Much to my surprise, it was Immortals.  Weird, I thought.  From the previews I had seen, Immortals looked like a mindless blood-fest designed by comic book guys for comic book guys.  Not a chick flick, not an old-foagie flick.  I went in and got seated in my favorite spot in the theater, which is the middle of the very top row (the fat row, we call it).  Eventually they old couple came in with some popcorn and sat down.  And then two old ladies.  And then two old men.  And then a group of old people.  I couldn't believe it.  I did a demographics check of the theater, and when the movie started, there were 17 of us there... 11 women, 6 men, and I was the only one that wasn't on Social Security.  As the rest of the lights dimmed for the start of the movie, I heard the familiar sound of pop cans opening.  Not only was every person in Immortals over 60, but half of them snuck in their own drinks.

The previews were an uninteresting lot.  The first one was for the Avengers, which, while I'm sick and tired of nerdy comic book movies, looked mildly entertaining.  The next four movie previews did absolutely nothing for me and I have no desire to see any of them (some Marky Mark movie about counterfeiting money, a cliched "chick gets trained to kill, then betrayed, and then seeks revenge" piece of crap that really annoyed me, and sequel of a movie that I have refused to watch (Ghost Rider) and Mission Impossible, which has Tom Cruise in it).  The one that did catch my eye is a movie about the Navy Seals called Act of Valor coming out in February.  I will most likely check it out.
 
Immortals was pretty much what I expected it to be.  It was made by the same people that made 300, which I thought was a travesty.  The plot is simple... Hyperion King of the Heraklians (Mickey Rourke) was on a  mission to get the Epirus Bow and use it to release the Titans from some mountain so that they could wage war against Zeus and the gods, whom Mickey Rourke had a major beef with.  A peasant named Theseus, basically chosen by Zeus, eventually leads the Greeks in battle against the Heraklians, the Titans get released, alot of people, monsters, and gods die, and Theseus becomes a god, setting up a sequel.  Visually, the movie is very much like 300, meaning dark and with endless blood.  Mickey Rourke did a great job as the twisted blood-lusting villain and the oracle was played by a rather attractive young lady, but the acting was hamstrung by the weak plot, writing, and general absurdity.  This movie was made for teenage guys and nerds, not for anyone that has an interest Greek mythology.  Through the whole movie I kept questioning myself as to why all these old people were here, what could be going through their minds as they were watching this, and if they were actually awake.

In summary, watching Immortals was kind of like watching someone else play a violent video game.  Boring, unfulfilling, and has you waiting for it to end so you can do something else.

Hangin' up my Keys

Well, I have very little good to say about my former company, so I won't waste the time on it.  But over the 7 years and 9 months I worked there, I've worked with and for some of the coolest and weirdest people I've ever met.  Some day I may put some of my experiences with customers and co-workers into writing, but tonight, I just want to acknowledge some of the people that I've particularly enjoyed working with over the years (at the risk of forgetting some of you, I apologize in advance)...

Stephanie Sohl hired me in February of 2004, having previously worked with me at another company.  It has been a pleasure working for you off an on for the last decade.  You've been the best boss I've had and a good friend.  I also enjoyed working for Natalie Baxter (even though she's crazy) and Jon Tallman (even though he's crazy).  I very much disliked both of you initially, but as time went on I had fun and would work for both of you again (somewhere else, of course).

I've worked with a ton of assistant managers since I've been here, but to name a few... I had a blast making fun of poor Kelly Allomong for my first few years back in Amherst.  No matter how bad our day was going (especially on Wild Wild Wednesdays), I could could always count on her to be an outlet for my disgust and she always understood I never meant any of it.  Most of it.  Same thing for Nicole Woch.  They both seemed to have terrible luck on their shifts and I enjoyed making fun of them through it all.  It was therapeutic.  But there are few I'd rather work with when things got crazy.  I worked with Amanda Dotson for four years, and I'm still thankful I didn't have to deliver her baby.  I am happy for Amanda and Samantha Jackson, and Julia Thomas before them, for finally getting to move on to better things... you all deserve it.  And congrats to my dego buddy Jonathan Hussey for retaining his position and continued opportunity to provide for his new family. 

I always got along with my fellow drivers, but I'll mention Mark Fox and Elizabeth Tomaszewski.  We held it down back in the day. 

There are three other people that I would like to acknowledge... Mike Kastanis, Megan Schreiner, and Mike Witt.  I had a blast getting to know you and I miss each of you.  If you ever need anything, let me know.

But on to better things, at long last.  Y'all take care and God bless.

(Now all of you I forgot to mention can proceed to sending me your hate, I will understand)... 

Trip Report: The Big South Fork National River and Recreation Area

Rally Point's first out-of-state outdoor road trip was to be at the Big South Fork National River and Recreation area in Kentucky and Tennessee.  After a few unfortunate cancellations, Mark Raven and Matt Winfree left the Winfree residence in North Ridgeville, Ohio, at 1:32 PM.  The weather was windy, cold and damp, but the further we got from Northeast Ohio, the weather progressively improved to warm and sunny.  Our departure time made for some complications, however, as it required us to forge our way through the early Friday rush hour in Columbus and the late Friday rush hour in Cincinnati.  We made Lexington by nightfall, at which time every local radio station began playing high school football games with the merciful exception of the classic country that accompanied us through southern Kentucky.  After a few disagreements with Google Maps and a trek down the most winding road I have ever driven, we arrived at the Bandy Creek Campground at 10:30 pm.  We made quick work of setting up camp, explored the campground, had dinner in the car (Matt with carrots, grapes, and water, me with snack cakes, chips, and diet pop), and then retired.

We awoke at 9:30AM, stopped at the visitor center for a map, and departed Bandy Creek for the first destination of the day... Twin Arches.  The trail splits at 0.7 miles, the left going to the North Twin Arch, the right going to South Twin Arch, but both arches are only a few hundred feet apart.  The south arch is the more impressive of the two.  On our way to the Leatherwood Ford area, we were ambushed and came face to face with sheer evil.  I calmly pulled the car to the side of the road, got out, and let Matt play hero (in attempt to build up his confidence, which I had taken from him on the ride down) and he crushed the fiend with a Doritos bag, leaving a remnant of this demon on my windshield as a monument of his victory and a testament to his bravery. 

At Leatherwood Ford, we hiked down stream along the Big South Fork for two miles until we reached Angel Falls Rapids, a famous chute of Class IV rapids that runs through a boulder field.  This was a very cool area to explore and worth the 4-mile investment of time and energy.  From Leatherwood Ford we trekked back up the mountain to the East Rim Overlook and met a 7-foot tall man who greeted us with a "howdy-do".  From there, following winding one-lane gravel roads through the hills, we went to Bear Creek Overlook.  Continuing through the mountains, we were unexpectedly honored to pass the home of Medal of Honor winner Wilburn Ross, who saved his company by standing against an enemy assault, killing or wounding 58 enemy soldiers in 5 hours of combat.  After enjoying the view high above Devil's Jump, we drove through Whitley City to Yahoo Falls, the highest waterfall in Kentucky.  However, we only caught a glimpse of Yahoo, as the trail to the bottom of the falls had been wiped out during a storm earlier in the year.
With daylight waning, we made a decision to leave the BSF and go to Cumberland Falls State Park Resort, home of Cumberland Falls. 

We arrived at sunset, and after photographing the falls, we learned that on this  night, there was a possibility that a moon bow would form at the falls (which happens on the few nights of and around a full moon, on clear nights).  A moon bow is a rainbow created by the light of the moon and the mist of the falls.  Given the information that this is the only place in the western Hemisphere this phenomenon occurs and that it was already nearly nightfall, we decided to stay and see a moon bow.  However, once darkness had arrived, there was no moon to be seen.  So we continued to wait for the moon to peak over the mountain and shine down into the river, eating, watching Epic Meal Time videos on my phone, discussing the virtues of the old hymns and what a truly great female vocalist sounds like, and me retelling fond memories of the great disappointments of Cleveland sports of my youth.  At 11:30, the moon finally showed itself and created the illusive moonbow.  After an hours drive through intense darkness, we returned to our mountain top home at Bandy Creek and went to bed.

I awoke at 9AM to learn that the chilly mountain air had brought some discomfort through the night to the ill-prepared Winfree.  In near record time, we tore down camp, loaded up, and left the Big South Fork.  On our way back to the I-75, we noticed that around every hill there was a full Baptist church on this sunny Sunday morning, and that every radio station had a southern preacher speaking about the love of Christ or the godlessness of movie theaters.  We stopped for gas near Stearns, Kentucky.  When we crossed the Ohio River, it was 79 degrees and sunny.  But when the skyline of Columbus came into view, it was illuminated with the sun and the dark backdrop of the meteorological ugliness that we would soon encounter.  In North Ridgeville, Ohio, it was 55 degrees, windy, and raining when we returned, which was more pleasant than listening to the Browns game.  

At the Big South Fork National River and Recreation, we hiked 8 miles in exploring the magnificence of God's creation in brilliant warmth and sunshine and magnificent fall color.  It was also a great time of fellowship and a needed respite from the daily grind for all participants.

What I've Been Up to Lately

I haven't bogged much in the last several months, but trust me, its not that I haven't had some things to write about. Hopefully I'll find the time to opine on the insanity going on in Washington, the tragedy occurring in many American churches, the surprising Indians pennant race, and all the good stuff. The last few months, however, I've been working a lot, but I've also been doing some things to make some extra cash. On weekends, I've been hitting the flea markets and garage sales in search of things I can turn a profit on. Picking, if you want to call it that (although I shy away from that term because of its association with those dweebs on the History Channel). I haven't made much doing it yet, but I have turned a profit and enjoy doing it. More recently, I've started selling watches on the internet. Mostly antique pocket watches, but other watches as well. I've enjoyed learning about watches, internet commerce, and the postal service thus far, and it too looks to be profitable although frustrating at times. The big drawback to being busy making money is that I have not been able to do one roadtrip yet this year, which is a personal tragedy. RPM, the young adult ministry I started at the beginning of the year, continues on. Attendance has been inconsistent this summer, but its all good. God has been doing some good things, thought. I've been really busy, but I do hope to write on a few subjects, soon. This new Blogger app for my Droid should allow me some more flexibility (I'll have to confess to writing this while at work today, some of it while driving). And now I get to see if this app really works...

posted from Bloggeroid

Presidential Debate Analysis

Tonight, seven Republican candidates for President debated in New Hampshire.  I believe President Obama can and probably will be defeated by whomever the Republican nominee ends up being, so electability is not the issue for me, the issue is who is the best candidate for the job of President.  I watched the debate in its entirety with great interest, and here are some of my thoughts on each of the seven that participated tonight...

• Sen. Rick Santorum:  I've always liked Santorum because of his courageous leadership on Right-to-Life and other important social and religious issues.  But he comes off as a guy who doesn't have a Presidential temperament.  He always seems kind of wired and it makes you wonder about him as a decision maker (he's always been as legislator not an executive, so there isn't a record to go on in that regard).
• Rep. Michele Bachmann.  She blew a great opportunity to answer the first question by announcing she filed her paper work today and that a formal announcement is coming soon.  Stupid mistake.  Her answers overall were very good.  She is clearly very smart, very solidly conservative and a leader.  Her family story is remarkable (five kids and 23 foster kids).  
• Speaker Newt Gingrich.  Newt was impressive.  He knows everything about everything and has specific solutions for it all.  He was very aggressive and assertive tonight.  
• Gov. Mitt Romney.  Romney gave a strong performance in tonight's debate and answered everything well.  His debate experience from 2008 clearly showed through.  The problem is his record as Governor (government-run health care) and his recent comments on global warming.
• Rep. Ron Paul.  He looks and sounds like a guy you would meet at the flea market.  His libertarian stances on foreign policy are just too much for me, but he serves a very important role in this process by continually bringing up monetary policy and the role of the Federal Reserve, two very important and complicated issues that must be discussed but might not be if not for him.  
• Gov. Tim Pawlenty.  The media continues to try to make this a Romney/Pawlenty battle, but Pawlenty isn't going anywhere with primary voters.  Some of his answers were just weak, specifically his trying to dodge a confrontation with Romney over health care, which he previously called "Obomney care". 
• Herman Cain.  Pretty solid performance, but it made me question his depth of knowledge on all the issues.  I think he's smart and his leadership experience would lead him to correct decisions for the country.  

It's refreshing to hear what these candidates collectively have to say.  If I had to rank them tonight in order of how they did in this specific debate, I would go...

1. Newt
2. Romney
3. Bachmann
4. Paul
5. Cain
6. Santorum
7. Pawlenty

Considering their records, experience, and positions, I would rate my CURRENT preference for the GOP nomination as follows...

1. Newt
2. Bachmann
3. Cain
4. Pawlenty
5. Paul
6. Santorum
7. Romney

I have ruled out voting for Santorum and Romney.  My interest in Paul and Pawlenty is only contingent on them becoming the only alternatives to Romney (which I don't believe will happen).  I've narrowed it down to Newt, Bachmann, and Cain, and I switched Newt and Bachmann around several times while writing that list.  There are a few other potential candidates out there that might get in the race (Huntsman, Giuliani, Palin), but they aren't considerations for me.  Chris Christie would be, though, but I just don't believe he'll run.  I will go on record tonight in saying that Michele Bachmann has a legitimate chance to be the first female President of the United States.  I believe it is a real possibility.   My concern is that the conservative vote will get so divided between several candidates that Romney ends up being the last man standing.  I believe Romney's defense of his health care plan in Massachusettes and his recently stated global warming views are an effort to follow the path McCain took the nomination last time, allowing the media to propel him to victory.  The 2010 elections demonstrate that things have changed in the Republican party, that the Republican base is anti-establishment and has no interest in business-as-usual Republican politics or what the media has to say about what they should do.  It is going to be a fascinating seven months leading up to the primaries.  

Talkin' Tribe

It's still cold and wet and horrible, but baseball season is underway.  I may not talk baseball on this blog the rest of the year, so bare with me as I chronicle my expectations for the Indians this year.

First, there are very few components on this team that have a consistent track record.  It is reasonable to expect solid seasons from the following players... RF Sin Shoo Choo, SS Asdrubal Cabrera, and CL Chris Perez.

There are also a few players on this team with consistent track records, which don't offer much promise... 3B Jack Hanahan and OF Travis Buck have been around baseball a long time but have never hit worth a lick.  OF Austin Kearns is a proven mediocre commodity. 

This leaves us with a whole bunch of question marks going into this season, and I'll address each of them and how I think they'll pan out...

• Travis Hafner.  Once one of the best hitters in baseball, Hafner has been a shell of his former self over the past three seasons.  He claims he is now fully healthy.  I look for a partial rebound for Hafner... 20 HR, 85 RBI, .280 BA.  
• Carlos Santana.  He appears to be fully healthy and I would bet he rakes this season... 24 HR, 90 RBI, .300 BA.
• Grady Sizemore.  Should be back before the end of April, but I doubt he'll ever be the same player ever again (and I thought he was a bit overrated to begin with)... 9 HR, 40 RBI, .220 BA, lots of strikeouts, and dumped by his girlfriend who proceeds to release naked pics he sent her.
• Matt Laporta.  Hasn't shown much in his limited opportunities, but I believe he has potential but will need some time to show it.  I'd compare him to Ryan Ludwick.  Give him a chance... 18 HR, 70 RBI, .280 BA.
• Michael Brantley.  Still only 23, and I think he'll take a step forward this season... 10 HR, 40 RBI, .280 BA, 28 SB.  
• Fausto Carmona.  A lot of people think he's an ace.  I don't.  I think he's a younger, harder throwing version of Jake Westbrook and will always be inconsistent and never strike hitters out... 13-11. 4.50 ERA.  
• Justin Masterson.  His stuff is terrific, just needs to get more consistent with it.  I think he ends up our best starter this season... 15-9, 4.25 ERA, 160 K's.
• Carlos Carrasco.  I'm hoping he stays healthy because he needs all the experience we can give him this season... 10-12, 4.75 ERA, 120 K's, and shows enough potential to secure a spot in the rotation next year.
• Josh Tomlin.  Throws strikes and challenges hitters, will get rocked occasionally...  12-12, 4.50 ERA.
• Mitch Talbot.  I expect the same season from a year ago... 10-13, 4.50 ERA
• The Bullpen.  Bullpens are always hard to figure, but this pen should be decent and usually get the job done.
• The Defense.  Jhonny Peralta is playing in Detroit, so the defense in Cleveland has improved. 

Lots of question marks... I'm more optimistic about the starting lineup than the starting pitching.  The AL Central looks to be competitive this year with three solid teams in the White Sox, Twins, and Tigers.  The Indians will be mediocre, but there will be some improvement... enough that there will be renewed hope for next year, just like the Tribe of my youth.  Prediction:  74-88, 4th in the AL Central.

A few short movie reviews...

I'll try to keep these vague and spoiler free in case you haven't seen these movies and are considering doing so.

Battle:  Los Angeles.  I'm not the biggest fan of alien movies, but I really enjoyed this one.  Unlike Independence Day, our view of the alien invasion is seen through the perspective of a marine unit as they try to survive long enough to find a way to defeat the invaders.  There are a few things that I really liked about this movie... 1.)  The action is non-stop.  2.)  There is no ridiculous developing romance.  3.)  It made me proud to be an American watching the Marines do what they do.  4.)  The main hero is the old guy.  4.5 stars.

Limitless.  I feel rather indifferent towards this movie.  The main thing it has going for it is its relatively original concept and that it isn't completely predictable.  It kept my attention throughout.  Having said that, to me the mark of a great movie is how often you find yourself thinking about it in the next day or two after having seen it, and this movie just didn't do anything for me.  It isn't bad a movie and it's always good to see Deniro in action, but I highly doubt I'd watch it again on DVD or TV.  3 stars.

Kill the Irishman.  This film is a big deal around here as the events portrayed happened in Cleveland during the 1970's.  Listening to AM radio as much as I do, I had a solid base of knowledge of the Danny Greene story going in.  I was a little disappointed.  Kill the Irishman left me wondering what is so compelling about this story that a movie had to be made about it.  Two cool features are the use of all the old school Italian mobster type actors and the real news clips and headlines from the day.  However, don't expect this one to compare favorably with mob movies from the past.  3.5 stars.

Adjustment Bureau.  This Matt Damon flick deals with the concept of man's free will.  It's crap and I regret seeing it.  1.5 stars. 

Rally Point: What the heck is it?

Here's a Q&A with myself regarding Rally Point (RPM)...

What the heck is Rally Point?  It's a ministry.

Wise guy, eh?  Can you elaborate a little bit on that?  Who is Rally Point for?  Well, Rally Point seeks to minister to young men ages 18-25ish.  That's really the only restriction.  Anybody meeting that criteria is welcome, doesn't matter who you are or where you've been or what you've done. 

Where does Rally Point meet?  We currently meet at Dunkin' Donuts on Abbe Road in Elyria, across the street from the college, Sunday nights at 7pm. 

So you started a ministry that meets in a donut shop?  Who would've guessed that?  So what is this, some kind of donut church or something?  Rally Point is not a church, isn't affiliated with any church or denomination, and isn't meant to be a replacement or alternative to going to church.

Alright, geez.  It's not a church.  So if Rally Point isn't supposed to be an alternative to church, why have it?  Why is it needed?  Or is this just about the donuts?  There are a lot of young men that, for whatever reason, aren't involved with a local church and don't want to be, and the Church (as a whole) has not been effective in reaching them.  It's my belief that just because a young guy won't go to church doesn't make him unreachable.  For years, the Church has been talking about America being a mission field, and I concur.  Do missionaries go into a foreign land and build a church and just expect people to show up?  No, they get in on the ground and try to reach people where they are, and young adults today aren't in church.  What's more, this generation is highly skeptical of church, and the American church has largely earned it's reputation, unfortunately.  So RPM is here to reach guys that aren't going to be reached by conventional church ministry.

Man, you're a hater.  So are you planning on starting your own church if you think the Church really sucks like that?  Are you paying attention or just asking questions and then eating donuts while I answer?  I didn't say the Church sucks, I said this generation thinks it does.  I think the Church is important, and I will be encouraging young guys to get in one and get involved.  The objective is to direct guys into a real relationship with Christ and mature spiritually as a man, help them find out what they're calling is and then inspire them to go out and do it.  The belief is that as young Christians grow, the Lord will reveal to them what He has for them to do in life and He'll direct and guide them to the place where He wants them to serve.  Young guys are looking for direction, and RPM wants to help them find it.   

I'll give you that.  So what does RPM actually DO or is it just some theoretical concept you've devised to justify meeting in a donut shop on a weekly basis?  Our weekly meetings on Sunday nights usually consist of a bible study or discussion that seeks to find practical answers to real life issues.  This generation doesn't want high theological debates or complex expository sermons, it needs something real that they can apply to their lives, and the Word has those answers.  We also do occasional activities and events.  Guy stuff that is easy to invite the bros to.  We eat a lot and don't apologize for it, either.   

Amen to that, Reverend Raven.  So what is the inspiration behind the name Rally Point?  Reverend Raven is my cousin's blues band in Chicago.  I'm not a pastor and don't really have any plans of being one.  But to answer your question... In battle, the rally point is a designated place to meet in the event that your outfit gets scattered.  You meet back at the rally point and regroup for the next phase of battle.  The youth and young adults of America have been scattered by the enemy, and we seek to provide a rally point for the wounded, scattered, and lost to regroup, get healthy, and move on to victory in life.  That rally point is Christ.  Also the initials for Rally Point Ministries is RPM, which I think is pretty cool.

That is kinda cool.  I like it.  But do you think this is actually going to work?  Beats me, but I felt the Lord calling me to decisive action and strong commitment, so I'm rollin' with it.  I certainly think RPM has potential to make a difference in the lives of young men and I'm excited about that.  It's probably going to be tough going with plenty of ups and downs, but so far, so good.  We've got a good core group of guys that I think highly of and we're gettin' down to business.  We believe that if we're faithful and obedient, God will meet us at the Rally Point and do some awesome things this year. 

Wing Wars: Buffalo Wild Wings vs Quaker Steak and Lube

What God-fearing American guy doesn't love smashing a plate of wings?  With wings, you get to eat meat, you get to eat that meat off the bone, and you get sauce all over you hands and face with no regard for etiquette.  Eating wings is a celebration of masculinity.  Here in my area, there are two major competing chains of wing places... Buffalo Wild Wings and Quaker Steak and Lube.  While there are well over 600 B-Dubs throughout the country and only 35 Quaker Steaks, there are an equal number here in Lorain County (2).

With both places, if you're looking for a steak or ribs, or even a burger, I'd go elsewhere.  These are wing places first and foremost, and the rest of the food is pretty average.  So when examining the merits of these two, we will mostly focus on the wings.

In my experience, I've found the wings at Quaker Steak to be larger than those at BW3.  I work for a pizza company that serves wings and the size our wings are very inconsistent week to week, but I've been to both of these places enough to say that Quaker's are consistently larger.  This, however, is of little importance.  It's the sauce that makes the wing.

Both places have a long lineup of sauces.  Honestly, though, I've been disappointed with each sauce that I've tried at BW3.  The last time I was there, it was actually difficult selecting one I really wanted.  The sauce list at Quaker is more varied and better than BW3's all across the board.  A few Quaker sauces are of particular note to me:  Louisiana Lickers (Hot, Cajun, Garlic, BBQ mix), Arizona Ranch (spicy ranch flavor), and the Thai 'R' Cracker (Sweet Thai flavor with chili and garlic).  I don't think BW3 has anything that can compare to these.  I'm not much for the extremely hot sauces, but both places offer some hot stuff.  I did try a small taste of BW3's hottest sauce, Blazin' (70x hotter than a jalapeno).  It actually tasted pretty good for about a second before the burning began.  Quaker now has the Triple Atomic sauce (500,000 Scoville Heat Units, or 100x hotter than a jalapeno).  Try it if you want, dummy.  Of course if you really want to, you can find significantly hotter sauces than this in some sadistic corners of our society.

Quaker is a cool place to eat if you like cars and bikes.  The automotive theme is everywhere, and they do have car shows and meets.   BW3 has more large TV's and loud drunk kids.  I really don't care much about cars or drunks (cars AND drunks is different story).  But I do care about wings, and to me, Quaker Steak and Lube provides a much better wing than its competition at BW3.

Some random observations from the last week...

• If Super Bowl Sunday is going to be an American holiday, it needs to start acting like one. 
• Christina Aguilera predictably butchered the national anthem.  The singing of the Star-Spangled Banner before sporting events is supposed to be a moment when we as Americans take time to honor America and our freedom that allows us to enjoy our way of life.  Choosing a self-promoting former pop star to perform inevitably led us to the result that followed--an unworthy rendition.  For an event as big as the Super Bowl, the national anthem should be stirring and inspiring and there is no shortage of people who can make that happen.  The NFL should look to this year's NFC Championship game in Chicago for an example.  Now that's what I'm talkin' about.  
• The halftime "entertainment" was one of the most ridiculous spectacles I've ever seen.  I honestly don't know or understand what I saw, but I do know that Zak Johnston believes in aliens again.
• Many people watch the Super Bowl for the commercials.  I am now considering starting an advertisement agency, because I know I can put together a group of friends of mine that can come up with something better for each company that spent millions on that nonsense in a matter of hours.  Ask yourself what commercials you remember and why you remember them and if you can remember what the commercial was advertising.  I remember seeing Ozzy Osbourne speaking in unknown tongues for some unknown company, a guy feeding Doritos to dead goldfish, an endless barrage of movie trailers that solidifies 2011 as the Year of the Nerd, and Roseanne getting plowed over by a log (loved that one).  Either the ad people are idiots, the ad people believe we the public are idiots, or we the public actually are idiots. 
• The Rite was an interesting flick.  It's an exorcist movie, but not your typical one.  I thought through much of the movie that they were aiming to make a certain point, but it ended up being something completely different (I like movies that at least maintain some sense of uncertainty throughout or offer some surprise ending).  Anthony Hopkins was brilliant, as usual.
• I also saw The Mechanic this week.  This is a movie about killin', pure and simple, and predictable.  Didn't do anything for me. 
• I ate at two restaurants I've never been to last week.  I tried Fiesta Jalapenos in North Ridgeville Saturday night.  As far as Mexican places go, this is one of the best I've been to (disclaimer:  I do not frequent Mexican restaurants and despise refried beans).  The Chimichangas were good.  I also tried the new Asian World Buffet on Cleveland Street in Elyria.  We arrived at 7:00 PM (they're open until 10PM) and there was very little left on the buffet.  The food doesn't compare favorably with any similar restaurant in the area, but try it if you must.  It did give me a greater appreciation for the New Chinatown Buffet in Sheffield. 
• I enjoyed Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy on the History Channel last night.  Looks to be an interesting and entertaining new show about things that are uniquely American.  Last night's episode was about making and running moonshine and how that birthed NASCAR, an etiquette lesson from the descendants of the lady who wrote the book on etiquette, and frog jumping.  Next week he'll be eating in a swamp, goes undercover with the clowns at the circus, and races in the soap box derby.  America has a long history and heritage of being, at its core, hillbilly, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Movie Review: True Grit

I braved last night's impressive display of global warming to see True Grit.  I've seen the 1969 version with John Wayne at least a dozen times.  No one will ever compare to the Duke, and my initial reaction to hearing that True Grit was being remade was shock and outrage, and a demand to know who was playing the role of Rooster Cogburn.  When I found out that it was Jeff Bridges, I couldn't wrap my mind around the Big Lebowski playing this role or any role played by the Duke.  Having said that, I thought the original True Grit was one of John Wayne's weaker movies in the latter part of his career.  The Duke's performance saved the movie from some odd casting and a relatively lame plot.  In retrospect, it was probably fitting that John Wayne received  his only Oscar for this movie, because he never had to do more to carry a movie.   Despite my apprehension, I was determined to keep an open mind going into this.

I must admit that there is much about this remake that I like better than the original, mostly the supporting cast.  While I don't like Matt Damon, I thought he fit the role of Texas Ranger Leboeuf much better than Glen Campbell.  How did John Wayne ever get saddled up with Glen Campbell as a sidekick?  More importantly was the selection of Hailee Steinfeld to play the head-strong teenager Mattie Ross.  She did a terrific job with the role, far superior to the unwatchable Kim Darby from the original.  The other supporting roles were also well chosen and performed.  Now, if you leave John Wayne's previous legendary performance out of it, Jeff Bridges played a credible Rooster Cogburn.  Bridges rendition was cruder and offered less personality, but it didn't lack in the "grit" department.  I'm not really sure there's another actor right now that could play this role.   

Much of the movie offers the same lines as the original, although there are several new scenes and a different ending.  Younger audiences are going to have to pay close attention to the dialogue in this film.  The vocabulary and proper nature of the wording is something that most movie goers won't be used to.  I enjoyed it, though.

After watching True Grit, I was actually glad the Coen brothers remade it.  Hollywood rarely makes westerns anymore, and that is a shame.  Hopefully this movie introduces the traditional American western genre to a new generation and that more will follow.  The success of True Grit ($150 million to date) suggests that there is a market for it, and I would recommend it to anyone, but especially to younger audiences that haven't seen many westerns.

Restaurant Review: Melt Bar and Grilled

Last night I dined at Melt Bar and Grilled in Lakewood.  Melt has received national renown from its appearance on Man V. Food on the Travel Channel and the show on Food Network with the guy with the spiky hair.  So, it was an itch I had to scratch. 

We got there at 5:15 PM (after driving by it twice without noticing it) on a Saturday, people were standing around everywhere.  We figured out that you had to forget about the signs that say please wait to be seated and just go up to the counter to get on the waiting list.  We were told it would be 2-2.5 hours.  This was expected.  By the way, the parking situation is stupid.  All the parking is with a meter and it's hard to find, so we parked across the street in the Marc's parking lot despite the sign saying customers and employees only.  We stood around in the cramped lobby area for what ended up being 3 hours before getting to our seats.  While waiting, we watched people pour through the doors and right back out after hearing of the wait.  For every customer that stayed, there had to be at least three that left.  A ridiculous amount of business walked out the door.  This place is small. 

Melt is all about the cheese.  Gourmet grilled cheese, in great variety and quantity.  Every sandwich is large and comes with fries and slaw.  The fries are excellent, the slaw is dry.  I ordered the Northcoast Shores (Crab cakes, spinach, red pepper and herbed cream cheese), Carlos got the Fat City Burger (salami, ham, bacon and swiss and american on a burger), Matt selected the Westside Monte Cristo, and Kaleb calmly and confidently accepted the Melt Challenge.  Our waiter strongly advised Kaleb against the attempt and let us know that it would be an hour to prepare the challenge.  The rest of us got our food in good order, and it was excellent.  However, if I return, I would get the Parmageddon or possibly the Godfather or the Hot Italian.  While my sandwich was good, the consistency of the crab cakes with the cream cheese made it quite gooey.  Kaleb got his food as we were finishing ours. 

The Melt Challenge is a behemoth not to be taken lightly.  It has three pieces of texas toast, with 13 different types of cheeses on it (american, sharp cheddar, provolone, pepper jack, havarti, swiss, muenster, smoked gouda, feta, herbed cream cheese, and goat).  The sandwich itself weighs roughly 4 lbs, and with the fries and cole slaw it comes out to about 5 lbs.  And unlike most food challenges, there is no time limit, you're just not allowed to leave the table once you've begun.  Kaleb's response to his first bite was positive in regards to the flavor of this colossal conglomerate of cheeses.  In fact, he finished the first half of the monster in just nine minutes.  However, things slowed down considerably once he began the second half.  After a while, he started looking for ways to break down the defenses of the cheese (strong flavor and quantity), including the use of malt vinegar (which he advises against).  After 90 minutes of constant eating and chewing, and not much further to go, Kale brought his fist to his mouth, looked up at us with watery eyes, then suddenly his cheeks expanded, lowered his head to his plate, and expelled a portion of his comsumed Challenge onto what was left of it.  It was one of the most graceful and discreet pukes I have ever witnessed.  The wait staff, as if they knew it was coming, immediately removed the evidence and the Challenge was over.  Kaleb is to be commended for his effort, having left it all at the table.  The 90 consecutive minutes of chewing is a physical feat in and of itself.  We left Melt at 10:45 PM, 5.5 hours after we arrived. 

Melt has terrific food, but the wait makes dining there a serious commitment that has to be planned for and not a place I could go very often.  I would suggest that if you're going to go, make sure you go with someone that is going to attempt the Challenge.