West Canada Lakes Wilderness, New York

The West Canada Lakes Wilderness of the Adirondacks would serve as the venue for the 2009 Academy Graduates Backpacking Trip.  Mark Raven, Matt Raven, Nick Handley, Dan Ferren, and Dustin Farmer met at Cross Community Church in Elyria, Ohio just before 6:00 AM on Friday, August 14.  Excellent time was made into New York until our first stop for gas on the Thruway near Rochester, where we were greeted with 1970s style gas lines.  One more stop was made just outside the Adirondack Park border for some final sustenance before leaving civilization.  Some difficulty was had finding our final road to the Trailhead (Jessup River Road named by Google Maps and National Geographic’s software is in reality marked as Perkins Clearing Road), but we reached the Pillsbury Mountain Trailhead and hit the trail at 3:30 PM. 

We quickly made our way up the gradual incline of the Cedar Lakes Trail for 1.6 miles and then made a turn onto the Pillsbury Lake Trail.  We reached Pillsbury Lake to find the lean-to occupied by an old man with his dog, who inquired of us where we were from and what day it was.  The next stretch of trail from Pillsbury Lake to Sampson Lake would be the most difficult terrain of the loop.  Many parts of the trail were so muddy and wet that it required significant bushwhacking to get around without completely soaking our footwear for the remainder of the trip.  After reaching Sampson Lake and enjoying the view from the lean-to, we continued on to the wooden bridge crossing West Canada Creek.  With the sun having already dipped below the tree line, we were relieved to discover the West Canada Creek Lean-to just yards up the trail and unoccupied.  Camp was set up and all soon retired to their quarters.  Early in the night, we were awakened and alarmed by the sound of a bear tearing through the lean-to.  Thankfully, we learned that this thunderous noise was exactly the same sound that Dan makes when he rolls over. 

Saturday morning started early, with Dustin rising from his tent in a vain attempt to warm his frigid being with a horse blanket, nicotine, and a breakfast buffet he found hanging from a tree not far from the lean-to.  After filtering water, we began down the Northville-Placid Trail by 9:00 AM.  After a short stretch of dry trail, and meeting a pair of gentlemen who considered our itinerary to be insane, we crossed South Lake and then onto the West Canada Creek Lean-to #1, which was not on our map but would be an excellent place to camp.  As we approached West Lake, the trail bore overwhelming evidence to recent and substantial flooding.  At some points, we were given the eerie perception of actually looking up at the lake from the trail.  The bridge across West Lake provided some much needed dry steps and an outstanding view of the lake and mountains beyond.  From here on out, the trails would become increasingly passable.  Near King’s Pond, we encountered a swarm of Bald-faced Hornets, and these agents of evil inflicted great pain and damaged morale.  At our first glimpse of the Cedar Lakes, we took a break for lunch and filtering water.  Rather than following the shore of the lake, as it should, the trail uneventfully leads away from the lake and climbs Cobble Hill.  Descending Cobble Hill brought us to a bridge that crosses at the intersection of Beaver Pond (fully equipped with a beaver dam under the bridge) and Cedar Lake.  In less than a mile, we reached the final Cedar Lake Lean-to and our best lake view of the trip, with the ominous Pillsbury Mountain looming in the distance.  Our trek soon left the Northville-Placid Trail as we crossed the end of Cedar Lake onto the Cedar Lakes Trail, which took us back to the Pillsbury Trailhead and the van.

Upon returning to the van, the decision made by Nick earlier in the day to forego the climb of Pillsbury Mountain was confirmed.  After a short period of rest and refueling, the remaining four hikers began the assault on the Doughboy at 5:00 PM.  The trail initially descends and crosses the Miami River before beginning its steep climb.  Early on, it became apparent that Dan would not be able to complete the hike, and the prudent decision was made to turn back and join Nick at the van.  Mark, Matt, and Dustin did reach the summit of the Doughboy, and were greeted by snakes, a welcomed breeze, and the defunct Pillsbury Fire Tower.  No views can be seen from the ground, so a climb up the fire tower is mandatory.  From the fire tower, we saw one of the most spectacular 360-degree views we had seen in the East so far, especially looking north into the High Peaks region.  Hoping for five minutes of rest after climbing down the tower, we were driven from the summit by swarms of midges.  The 1,500-foot descent down the 1.7-mile Pillsbury Mountain trail seemed to take forever, and did.  We returned to the van and were on the road by 8:00 PM.  A stop was made in the tourist town of Speculator, New York at the Mountain Market for some sustenance, and then at McDonalds along the Thruway near Syracuse before returning to Cross Community at 5:30 AM. 

Mark, Matt, and Dustin hiked 23 miles during the 29 hours in the West Canada Lakes, with Dan hiking 20 miles and Nick 19.5.  While the elevation changes on the loop were short and very gradual, the terrain proved difficult to maneuver due to unseasonably wet weather (although warm, humid weather without precipitation was enjoyed during our trip).  The lake views were outstanding, and the views from the Doughboy were spectacular.  The West Canada Lakes Wilderness was a fine venue for the 2009 Academy Graduates Backpacking Trip, with future trips into the Adirondacks being warranted. 

Mount Rogers Trip Report, July 2012

 Mount Rogers National Recreation Area

And Grayson Highlands State Park

Virginia

July 26 & 27, 2012

Thursday, July 26

At 9:00 AM, I left Lagrange, Ohio for Grayson Highlands State Park.  Matt and Amy Raven departed from Columbus, Ohio about half an hour later.  Thanks to a disagreement between my Google Maps and their Garmin, I was able to make up a 40-mile deficit and catch up to Matt and Amy before arriving at Grayson Highlands.  After setting up camp, we decided to check out a few of the State Park’s trails, the first being the Cabin Creek Trail.  The trail starts through a thicket of rhododendrons and gradually descends to Cabin Creek, then follows the cascading creek to Cabin Creek Falls before climbing back along the ridge to the car.  The other trail we hiked before dark was the Rock House Ridge trail.  We quickly discovered that the Rock House was a large rock that they had put a picnic table next to at the trailhead.  The trail did take us to one view, the same view that could be seen from the overlook on the road.  At the end of the trail (or beginning, depending on your start) were a few replica 19^th century buildings that gave off a PBS-vibe, so we went back to the car.  Returning to the campground, we soon retired for the evening. 

Friday, July 27

Unbeknownst to us at the time, going to bed would not result in sleep.  The forestation at the campground is thick, and while we did not feel the full force of the wind on the ground, we could hear it ripping through the trees above like a freight train.  At various times throughout the night, each of us believed that would be meeting our maker or going to need a new car. 

With a potential threat of rain by early afternoon and nobody sleeping anyways, we got up shortly after 6:00AM, took down camp and made the short drive to the trailhead at Massie Gap.  As we began the 4-mile climb, it was still very windy and dark clouds were cruising by us and through us.  The first part of the trail was not very steep and well maintained and we made good time.  When we came to a large thicket of bushes, we encountered several of the wild ponies for which the Grayson Highlands and Mount Rogers are known.  There was little time for socializing as both parties were all business (us getting up and down that mountain as quickly as possible and breakfast for them).  From that point, the trail turned to the right and the trail became considerably more rocky.  The higher we climbed, visibilities decreased, both above and below us, depending on where the clouds were rolling through.  After accomplishing most the climbing we would have to do, the trail turned sharply and flattened out, and we were able to do this section in quick order.  We passed the Appalachian Trail shelter, where a few people had stayed the night before, and from there began the final climb to the summit (we could not see the rest of the mountain we were about to climb due to clouds and fog).  The summit of Mount Rogers is very different from the rest of the climb, it is completely wooded with no views.  It was very dark and wet, reminiscent of the kind of place something bad would be about to happen in the movies.  There are two summit markers, both are on large rocks and there is no sign designating that you’ve arrived.  After wandering around for a while, Amy spotted one of the markers and we sat on the rock and consumed snack cakes. 

As we began the descent down Mount Rogers, the skies gradually began to clear and by the time we had reached the boundary of the Grayson Highlands the sun was out in full force and it actually had warmed up considerably.  The return hike went quickly, but the rocky climb down the mountain had resulted in sore feet and knees.  We returned to the campground, showered, and departed Grayson (me for home, Matt and Amy for Virginia Beach).  The return drive for me was not an easy one, driving through storms in West Virginia, Akron-Canton, and the final stretch up Route 301 without the aid of AC or defrost.  I returned home at 9PM. 

Mount Rogers ranks as one of my favorite mountain summits.  The wide open views and climate were comparable to what you might expect in the Scottish Highlands rather than western Virginia.  In retrospect, we were blessed with the weather we experienced, with the wind and clouds on the ascent and clearing skies on the way back, we got to see Mount Rogers in different ways on the same hike.  Its reputation as one of the jewels of the Appalachians is confirmed.   

My experience at today's Paul Ryan event

Sunday morning, I got an email with a link to get some tickets to a campaign rally with Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan for Tuesday.  I've never been to a political event before, but I've never been this pleased with a national candidate, either, so I decided to go.  The event was to be at the Westlake Recreation Center, somewhere I know pretty well from delivering pizzas there.  I wasn't sure how many tickets were given out or how many would be there, but it became apparent as I turned onto Hilliard Blvd.  Cars were lined up on both sides of Hilliard and all through the surrounding neighborhoods, I ended up parking about a mile away.  There was some security we had to go through to get into the Rec Center, comparable to what you might go through at the airport.  The Plain Dealer estimated the crowd in the gym at about 2,000 people, which sounds like a reasonable guess to me.   

The Mayor of Westlake was already speaking when I found a place behind some very short old ladies by the west wall of the gym.  After him, the mayor of Brecksville came and said a few things.  As you might expect from being in a gymnasium with 2,000 people, it was incredibly humid.  Just before noon (when the rally was scheduled to begin), a secret service agent came and stood right next to us for a few minutes.  I'm glad they're there, but his proximity fed my suspicion that I'm on the President's enemies list for my facebook statuses and past blog postings.  One of the old ladies approached him, asking him how to turn her cell phone ringer off (as if anyone could have possibly heard it).  He quickly showed her how and promptly left for another position.  At about 12:15 PM, Congressman Renacci (freshman from Medina, serves on the budget committee chaired by Ryan) came out to introduce the Vice Presidential candidate.

Ryan began by laying out the case against President Obama's governance.  The way he did it was compelling, not through meaningless mean-spirited attacks and accusations, but with facts and statistics, specifically when he compared the economic numbers today with those of 1980, the final year of the Carter administration.  The numbers are the numbers.  Foreclosures, bankruptcies, unemployment, increased poverty, 16 trillion in debt, trillion dollar deficits, downgraded credit rating, etc, etc.  A free thinking individual can't argue with those facts, which is why during the Democrat Convention this week we should expect to hear about Romney's money, free birth control and of course, racism!

At the mention of the credit rating downgrade, a young man up front (who apparently had to crawl out of his basement this morning to collect his paycheck from George Soros) began shouting, but was promptly drowned by a sea of USA chants and escorted out by law enforcement.  They marched him out just a few feet in front of us, looking as if he was about tear up.

 

Surrounded by a few thousand of his fellow racists, Ryan followed up his indictment of the President with his reasons why Romney's resume and record make him the man to turn America around.  This was also compelling--Romney is undoubtedly a successful and accomplished man with experience in the private and public sectors.  The final leg of his speech was devoted to the idea of America.  His proclamation that "we will not replace our founding principles, we will reapply them" triggers bright light and Hallelujah choruses in my head.  Unquestionably the loudest applause during the whole event came when Ryan said "our rights come from nature and from God, not from government."  Ryan spoke for only twenty minutes, which seemed to fly by despite the uncomfortable atmosphere of the gym.

Walking back to the car, we were met by protesters!  They had signs and marching around in a 10 foot circle crying "Hands off our Medicare!  Hands off our Medicare!".  Of course, given the age of these folks and the current projection of when Medicare becomes insolvent, Medicare will be gone decades before they can get it.  I didn't count how many there were, but it was the equivalent of how many people show up to Indians Opening Day to protest the use of the name "Indians".  I almost shook my fist and told them to get a job, but they have a job, as a protester earning cigarettes from one of the Soros front groups.

In all, it was an interesting American political experience, and given how close and how important Ohio is to this election and the future of the country, there should be many more opportunities to engage the candidates before November 6.  Consider doing so. 
 

Red River Gorge Trip Report 2010

This trip happened over two years ago, but I just finished the report... so here it is.  Enjoy it if you possibly can.  

Daniel Boone National Forest

Red River Gorge and Clifty Wilderness

Kentucky

April 5-7, 2010

On Easter Sunday night, Mark Raven and Carlos Brown departed from Regal Cinemas in Sheffield, Ohio (after having watched Clash of the Titans) for Matt Raven’s house in Columbus.  We reached Columbus three hours later, having fought through two major traffic jams on I-71, and promptly retired.  Our departure for the Red River Gorge would come at 9:30 AM.  A stop was made at Meijer in Florence, Kentucky to secure provisions for the trip. 

Upon reaching Slade, Kentucky in the early afternoon, our first order of business was to wake up Carlos and find a place to camp, and we selected a site on the primitive loop at Whittleton Campground in the Natural Bridge Resort State Park.  The temperature was in the mid-80s, which seemed very hot to some northern Ohioans in early April.  Given its proximity to our campground, we decided to hike and sweat our way up to Natural Bridge and further to the Lookout Point where the views were enjoyed.  After the 400- foot descent to the car, we took the long way around the Gorge through Nada Tunnel to Sky Bridge.  Our stay at Sky Bridge was brief as a rain shower passed through the area, prompting us to go to Miguel’s Pizza and Rock Climbing for dinner.  This place was swamped with rock climbers and locals feeding on the Mexican variation of Chef Boyardee pizza served at Miguel’s.  We returned to the peaceful refuge of Whittleton and Carlos built a small fire, we threw some Frisbee, showered, and went to bed.

After sleeping in, our first destination of the day would be Auxier Ridge.  We stopped at the overlook on Tunnel Ridge Road and passed various trailheads before reaching the end of the road and the Auxier Ridge Trailhead.  Before beginning our trek, we observed that it was already rather hot.  The hike along the ridge descended gradually before flattening out.  After a mile in, we reached the outstanding views (looking both east and west from the ridge) for which Auxier Ridge is known, and they did not disappoint.  Here we enjoyed the views of Double Arch, Haystack Rock, and Courthouse Rock while fighting to keep our balance in the mighty, but refreshing, wind.  Just before reaching Courthouse Rock, we met a pair of older gentlemen from Louisville (Lou-uh-vool).  From these yammering old geezers we learned that the return trail we had planned on taking was uneventful and included over a mile of road walking, so we decided that we would return the way we had came.  Back at the car we learned that the temperature had risen to 88 degrees, which was no surprise to us.  Our next stop was Gray’s Arch.  The trail goes about a mile and then turns steeply down hill to below the arch where it can be viewed and a short climb back up to the arch.  Carlos deemed this area below the arch as “the corner of the universe”.  Before leaving, we made use of the cold water falling from the ledge over 100 feet above us to cool off, all of which had evaporated and been replaced with new perspiration by the time we returned to the car.  We decided to head back to Slade for Subway.  The Subway in Slade, Kentucky (population 38 as of the 2000 census) was the largest and nicest Subway we had ever seen.  Topping off our refills, we went down the winding gravel road into the Clifty Wilderness to see Rock Bridge and Creation Falls.  The short loop trail descends through some thick Rhododendron (monkey trees, as they were termed by my brother on a trip here 14 years earlier).  Creation Falls is not impressive in its size, but its setting is picturesque.  The falls tumbles into a sandy pool that drains into Swift Camp Creek.  Crossing over to the sand bar on the other side of the creek to get a closer look at the falls, we found a marine serpent-like creature that we have yet to identify, despite having a photograph of it.  Still puzzled by what we saw, we continued on to Rock Bridge, which is just around the corner from Creation Falls.  Rock Bridge is an arch that forms a natural bridge over Swift Camp Creek.  After the short ascent back to the car, we decided with the daylight running short, we would drive up to Chimney Top Rock to view the sunset and conclude the hiking portion of our trip.  A short ways down the trail, we came across a motorized chair on its side with a very large man sitting in the middle of the trail.  We quickly deduced that he had fallen out of the chair and could not get back in.  He had a good number of his family was with him, but they were all on their phones trying to call for help.  In talking with him, we learned that he could not get back up into the chair because he cannot bend his legs.  He really wanted to try to get back in the chair and with no timetable given for help to arrive, Carlos and I, along with another guy, would try to get him back into the chair.  The problem was that we needed to get up the trail a few yards to the chair (the chair couldn’t handle a section of trail and that’s why it fell, the trail is handicap accessible, but not handicap friendly) and that he was a very heavy man.  As we got him, somehow I ended up bear-hugging him from the front, being absorbed into his sweaty lard and carrying the brunt of the weight.  As his family looked on, we were able to get him up to and into his chair and we raced down the trail to the overlook for what was left of the sunset, satisfied and feeling good that we were able to help.  We were surprised to find two guys with a violin and cello and some sound equipment preparing to play music into the night.  We saw an excellent sunset over the hills and returned back to camp for showers and then bed.  

 

We woke up at 9:00 AM, took down camp and checked out of Whittleton Campground.  After 15 minutes on the road, Carlos, who had already slept nine hours that night, went back to sleep.  We stopped at a rest area just north of Cincinnati, where I used the handicap stall thinking it would be cleaner, but was occupying it when a real handicapped person came to use it, to my shame.  Carlos went back to sleep and when he awoke, we had returned to Elyria and consumed vast amounts of PINO (Pizza In Name Only) at CiCi’s before church. 

In all, Carlos and I hiked 11.5 miles through the unseasonable early April heat and did some importing scouting of the Red River Gorge for a trip I would lead there for Royal Rangers in August, making this venture successful, worthwhile, and enjoyable.     

Trip Report: Mammoth Cave National Park

Thursday, May 10

Matt Winfree and I departed from my residence in Lagrange, Ohio at 9:00 AM under blue skies and seasonable temperatures.  By 9:10AM all donuts had been consumed and the first box of fudge rounds had been opened.  The choice of leaving at 9:00 AM was a wise one, as we missed any heavy traffic in all three major cities we passed through… Columbus, Cincinnati and Louisville.  South of Louisville on I-65 we saw a sign for the General Patton Museum of Leadership in Fort Knox and a decision was quickly made to check it out on the way home.  We arrived at Mammoth Cave Campground at 3:00 PM (Mammoth Cave is just barely in the Central time zone).  The campground to my surprise and delight was nearly empty and we selected a site and set up camp by 3:20PM.  With plenty of daylight to work with, we went to the Visitor Center just to the north of the campground to check out some of the trails in that area.  It was here that I discovered that my camera was without a memory card and that I would be relying solely on my Droid for photography.  We took the path behind the Visitor Center to the Historic Entrance of Mammoth Cave, where the River Styx Spring Trail begins.  The trail goes downhill to the Green River and a spectacular view of River Styx (dried up creek that drains into a hole).  From there we took the Green River Bluffs Trail back uphill along the river until we came to the junction of the Dixon Cave Trail.  Dixon Cave was a deep and inspiring recess in the earth (a hole).  We traced our steps back to the Green River Bluffs Trail and continued the climb back to the Visitor Center, with one view of the Green River.  Leaving the Visitor Center, we drove to the Cedar Sink Trail.  The trail descended to the depths of the impressive Cedar Sink (a large hole) and back up to the car.  Just down the road was the closest restaurant I could find to the Campground, the Porky Pig Diner.  It was about 6:00PM and we were the only people there, other than the owner (wearing a doo-rag, sleeveless shirt, sweat pants and a cigarette) and a few employees.  The waiter came up to us and told us what the specials were, and since he didn’t give us a menu, we figured we were expected to get one of the specials, so we both opted for the country-fried steak.  The food, along with silverware in a plastic bag, came up in good order and was actually pretty darned good southern-style food.  The Porky Pig Diner reminded me a lot of some old places I had eaten at in West Virginia, except the food was good.  On the way back into the Park and with time to kill before dark, we stopped at the Turnhole Bend Trail, a short loop trail to a view of a bend in the Green River (obstructed glimpses of the alleged river through leaves).  From there we returned to the Visitor Center and hiked the Heritage Trail behind the Mammoth Hotel to Sunset Point and back down into the woods via the Mammoth Dome Sink Trail to see the Mammoth Dome Sink (small hole filled with sticks).  Hiking back up to the Heritage Trail, we witnessed a turkey make like a helicopter and fly straight up about 30 feet into the top of a tree and paid our respects to Stephen Bishop, a long-time guide and explorer of the cave buried here in 1857.  At dusk, the Park becomes littered with deer.  They loiter in the campgrounds, parking lots, and anywhere else they feel like being without regard for human activity.  In all, we counted 38 turkeys and 28 deer in our time at Mammoth Cave.  Back at camp, we listened to the Indians beat the Red Sox and General Patton’s famous speech to the Third Army before retiring around midnight. 

Friday, May 11

At around 10:00 AM we drove to the Sand Cave Trail at the park boundary.  This was a short, easy trail to Sand Cave, which was every bit the equal of the natural wonders we saw the previous day (a hole).  We went into Cave City, Mammoth Cave’s gateway town, for lunch at McDonalds, where I was asked by a gentleman to come out to his car and buy some Adidas clothes for cheap.  Cave City is a tourist trap that would fulfill all of Clark Griswold’s wildest family vacation dreams.  Dinosaur World, Redneck putt-putt, Guntown Mountain, zip line, bumper boats, go-carts, Jesse James mini-golf, a wax museum, Huckleberry Hill Village and Fudge, Big Mike’s Mystery House, and of course, Jellystone Park are just a few of the amazing attractions to be enjoyed in Cave City.  We returned to the Visitor Center at 1:30PM for the Violet City Lantern Tour.  This three-hour tour (a three-hour tour) is lit by lantern only and has a more historical focus than geological.  Our guide was a younger guy who was the guide on a tour two days earlier where a visitor from Florida had a heart attack and died in the Cave (the first fatality since the 1980s).  He has a long family history with the Cave and provided a lot of interesting information.  Our tour started off 16 people, but after an old lady (who asked the guide a question and then told him he was wrong) was found to be on the wrong tour, we thankfully down to 14.  The tour started at the Historic Entrance, said to have been rediscovered by a settler in the early 1800’s who had shot and wounded a bear and followed it into the cave.  First, we came to a large room called the Rotunda Room, where we saw the remains of a saltpeter mining operation that was used to make gunpowder during the War of 1812.  They had made a piping system out of hollowed out poplar trees to transport the saltpeter through a solution back to the surface.  We then came to a place called the Church, a room where services were held during the 1830’s.  The preacher would climb to a ledge on the wall and preach in front of the lantern light for up to four and five hours.  After going through a passage called Broadway, we were told to look behind us, and the opening from which was came when illuminated looked like the figure of a portly old woman, which was named Martha Washington’s Ghost.  Mrs. Washington would not be flattered by this memorializing of her likeness.  In the Main Cave, we saw a giant stone called Giant’s Coffin, some Indian artifacts and two disturbing stone buildings that were used as hospitals for tuberculosis patients, some of whom spent the last six months of their lives without seeing the surface.  We then passed through Wright’s Rotunda (where plans were made to build a hotel but never happened) and the Cataracts before reaching Chief City, the largest known room in the Cave at about two acres in size.  The tour ended with a steep climb to the Violet City Entrance and out to the bus that took us back to the Visitor Center and walked across the Lysol mats which was designed as a precautionary step to halt the potential spread of White Nose Disease in bats from cave to cave in the area.  Now being 5:00 PM, the search for food began.  We went to Brownsville, but didn’t really find anything we were looking for, so we drove back to Cave City and then onto Horse City to a pizza place called Snappy’s.  It was kind of like frozen pizza, but it was hot and good enough, also allowing me to maintain my integrity by not going to Pizza Hut.  We stopped at Dairy Queen for Confetti Cake blizzards, the top half of which was excellent.  We returned to camp for hot showers and bed.  I heard some very strange noises off in the distance and then very near our tent during the night.  Once I figure out how to describe what I heard, you can read my account on the Bigfoot Research Organization’s website. 

Saturday, May 12

We arose at 9:00AM, took down camp and left our temporary residence at Mammoth Cave Campground at 9:20AM.  Our tour at 10:00AM, the Grand Avenue Tour, was sold out (70 participants).  The Grand Avenue Tour is a 4.5-hour, 4-mile tour that the park considers to be difficult because of the terrain, which ascends and descends three levels of the cave.  Our tour guide was an older guy named Kevin.  He reminded me of a character actor that could have played a goofy cowboy in an old western on an episode of Bonanza.  He was humorous and informative, putting on a good show.  The tour begins at the man-made Carmichael Entrance, where I resisted the temptation to scare the bats on the wall and start a panic.  We immediately went down 180 feet of stairs and walked a long, wide tunnel called Cleaveland Avenue.  Arriving at the Snowball Room (named by one of the early guides because it looked like someone had thrown snowballs at the ceiling) we stopped for a lunch break.  The Snowball Room was made into a cafeteria that is connected to the surface by an elevator.  The wait wasn’t as long as I thought it would be and soon we were onto the Narrows, another lengthy stretch of cave that is reminiscent of the slot canyons in the American southwest.  From here, the trail became more difficult as it was constantly up and down between the three levels of the Cave.  We climbed Mount McKinley and passed through the Grand Canyon into the “New” section of the cave, owned by George Morrison in the 1920’s who was constantly trying to figure out how to make more money from his section of the Cave.  The final stretch of the Cave had more of the cave formations that people expect when they go caving, including Mammoth Cave’s most famous formation, Frozen Niagara.  After a short wait, we were taken back to the Visitor Center, grabbed a quick shower and left Mammoth Cave National Park.  We did go to the Patton Museum in Fort Knox, Kentucky, getting there about 20 minutes before close.  The museum had some incredibly cool exhibits, including tanks, vehicles, weapons, and especially Patton’s famous silver plated, ivory-handled Colt .45.  We drove through Louisville listening to classic country and stopped for gas and Wendy’s near Florence, Kentucky and eventually returned home just before midnight.  Four-dozen snack cakes were consumed on the trip. 

Conclusion

Mammoth Cave is the longest known cave system in the world at 392 miles.  The size and scope of the Cave makes it a natural wonder and the history of the cave adds to the interest.  With a constant temperature of around 54 degrees, anytime of year would be a good time to go into the Cave and it makes for a cool weekend road trip.  The Violet City and Grand Avenue Tours are highly recommended, especially together because of the amount of the Cave that is covered between the two tours.  The trails offer value only in getting some exercise or offering something to do while not in the cave.  Turkeys and deer abound.  In all, we hiked 5.9 miles on the surface and 7 miles in the underworld labyrinth of Mammoth Cave.                                                 

Restaurant Review: Happy Hippo Eatery

I decided to go to this Brunswick restaurant on the recommendation of my father.  He spoke glowingly of great burgers and mounds of sweet potato fries and he has never steered me wrong in this regard.  The Happy Hippo is on Pearl Road north of Brunswick, south of Strongsville.

When we first walked in on this Thursday evening at 6:00 PM, a couple of things stood out to me  immediately.  The restaurant was nearly empty during prime dining hours, there were white table clothes on all the tables and booths (which I found odd for a burger joint), and the funny older Mexican gentleman with the mullet that eventually greeted us at the door.  He seated us in a booth and took or drink orders.  A young Mexican girl came out to take our order, and then another Mexican fellow brought us out chips and a substance to dip them in.  It was at this point I began to consider the possibility that this place had changed some since my old man had been here last.

The menu had a little bit of everything, but not alot of anything.  I had mostly pre-determined that I was getting a burger, and I asked the waitress if she had any recommendations, as I often do.  She kind of looked at me blankly and then told me about the fajitas.  In the description of the Hippo House Burger I noticed that it listed a special secret ingredient.  I've seen special sauces and such before, but never a special ingredient on a burger.  We asked her about this, and she responded that they haven't told her what it is.  At that point, curiosity got the best of me and I ordered it, Carlos ordered cod.  After ordering, we tried the chips and the mystery sauce/salsa that came with them.  It was runny with a light green color, and tasted rather bitter.  My best guess is that it was some form of humus, but I did drop some off at NASA on the way home for testing.

The service from our waitress was inconsistent, leaving us for extended periods without beverage, but we were understanding towards her once we considered the possibility that she might not be getting paid.

There was flat screen TV in the dining room playing a movie, loud enough for us to hear Chris Rock and Ice Cube dropping F-bombs and large enough for us to see Tracy Morgan get Danny Glover's fecal matter on his hands and a naked guy sitting on a roof (I have no idea what this movie was).  Eventually the other customer complained and they turned the channel.

Our food came out in good order and I was curious to see what the secret ingredient was.  Beneath the lettuce, under the tomato and onion, and there it was... a gooey black pile of something.  I think there were a few different kind of peppers or vegetables that had been cooked in some type of blackened sauce.  It was quite strong and kind of bitter, enough so that I was sick of it by the time I got halfway through the burger.  My whole plate was covered in a puddle of black juices, which soaked through the pretzel bun.  It takes an extreme situation for me not to eat everything on my plate, but today presented a circumstance that required such action.  I graciously left a good tip and we were on our way. 

My assumption is that Happy Hippo had a recent ownership change and is a restaurant in an identity crisis, but as we left, our waitress welcomed us to come back this Saturday to try their all new menu, as they are changing to a "half Italian, half Mexican" restaurant, which sounds like an excellent business model that should breed success.  They seemed like nice people and I wish them all the best in their pursuit of the American Dream, but I fear the realities of capitalism will have something to say about that.  

My trip to the movies this afternoon...

I have not had much free time lately, but today I found myself up north (Elyria) with a few hours to kill so I decided to go see a movie.  The only movie that fit my time frame was Immortals, so I decided to do it.  There was an elderly couple in front of me in line, and I was kind of curious to hear what movie they were about to see because there really wasn't much playing at the time.  Much to my surprise, it was Immortals.  Weird, I thought.  From the previews I had seen, Immortals looked like a mindless blood-fest designed by comic book guys for comic book guys.  Not a chick flick, not an old-foagie flick.  I went in and got seated in my favorite spot in the theater, which is the middle of the very top row (the fat row, we call it).  Eventually they old couple came in with some popcorn and sat down.  And then two old ladies.  And then two old men.  And then a group of old people.  I couldn't believe it.  I did a demographics check of the theater, and when the movie started, there were 17 of us there... 11 women, 6 men, and I was the only one that wasn't on Social Security.  As the rest of the lights dimmed for the start of the movie, I heard the familiar sound of pop cans opening.  Not only was every person in Immortals over 60, but half of them snuck in their own drinks.

The previews were an uninteresting lot.  The first one was for the Avengers, which, while I'm sick and tired of nerdy comic book movies, looked mildly entertaining.  The next four movie previews did absolutely nothing for me and I have no desire to see any of them (some Marky Mark movie about counterfeiting money, a cliched "chick gets trained to kill, then betrayed, and then seeks revenge" piece of crap that really annoyed me, and sequel of a movie that I have refused to watch (Ghost Rider) and Mission Impossible, which has Tom Cruise in it).  The one that did catch my eye is a movie about the Navy Seals called Act of Valor coming out in February.  I will most likely check it out.
 
Immortals was pretty much what I expected it to be.  It was made by the same people that made 300, which I thought was a travesty.  The plot is simple... Hyperion King of the Heraklians (Mickey Rourke) was on a  mission to get the Epirus Bow and use it to release the Titans from some mountain so that they could wage war against Zeus and the gods, whom Mickey Rourke had a major beef with.  A peasant named Theseus, basically chosen by Zeus, eventually leads the Greeks in battle against the Heraklians, the Titans get released, alot of people, monsters, and gods die, and Theseus becomes a god, setting up a sequel.  Visually, the movie is very much like 300, meaning dark and with endless blood.  Mickey Rourke did a great job as the twisted blood-lusting villain and the oracle was played by a rather attractive young lady, but the acting was hamstrung by the weak plot, writing, and general absurdity.  This movie was made for teenage guys and nerds, not for anyone that has an interest Greek mythology.  Through the whole movie I kept questioning myself as to why all these old people were here, what could be going through their minds as they were watching this, and if they were actually awake.

In summary, watching Immortals was kind of like watching someone else play a violent video game.  Boring, unfulfilling, and has you waiting for it to end so you can do something else.