Restaurant Review: Melt Bar and Grilled

Last night I dined at Melt Bar and Grilled in Lakewood.  Melt has received national renown from its appearance on Man V. Food on the Travel Channel and the show on Food Network with the guy with the spiky hair.  So, it was an itch I had to scratch. 

We got there at 5:15 PM (after driving by it twice without noticing it) on a Saturday, people were standing around everywhere.  We figured out that you had to forget about the signs that say please wait to be seated and just go up to the counter to get on the waiting list.  We were told it would be 2-2.5 hours.  This was expected.  By the way, the parking situation is stupid.  All the parking is with a meter and it's hard to find, so we parked across the street in the Marc's parking lot despite the sign saying customers and employees only.  We stood around in the cramped lobby area for what ended up being 3 hours before getting to our seats.  While waiting, we watched people pour through the doors and right back out after hearing of the wait.  For every customer that stayed, there had to be at least three that left.  A ridiculous amount of business walked out the door.  This place is small. 

Melt is all about the cheese.  Gourmet grilled cheese, in great variety and quantity.  Every sandwich is large and comes with fries and slaw.  The fries are excellent, the slaw is dry.  I ordered the Northcoast Shores (Crab cakes, spinach, red pepper and herbed cream cheese), Carlos got the Fat City Burger (salami, ham, bacon and swiss and american on a burger), Matt selected the Westside Monte Cristo, and Kaleb calmly and confidently accepted the Melt Challenge.  Our waiter strongly advised Kaleb against the attempt and let us know that it would be an hour to prepare the challenge.  The rest of us got our food in good order, and it was excellent.  However, if I return, I would get the Parmageddon or possibly the Godfather or the Hot Italian.  While my sandwich was good, the consistency of the crab cakes with the cream cheese made it quite gooey.  Kaleb got his food as we were finishing ours. 

The Melt Challenge is a behemoth not to be taken lightly.  It has three pieces of texas toast, with 13 different types of cheeses on it (american, sharp cheddar, provolone, pepper jack, havarti, swiss, muenster, smoked gouda, feta, herbed cream cheese, and goat).  The sandwich itself weighs roughly 4 lbs, and with the fries and cole slaw it comes out to about 5 lbs.  And unlike most food challenges, there is no time limit, you're just not allowed to leave the table once you've begun.  Kaleb's response to his first bite was positive in regards to the flavor of this colossal conglomerate of cheeses.  In fact, he finished the first half of the monster in just nine minutes.  However, things slowed down considerably once he began the second half.  After a while, he started looking for ways to break down the defenses of the cheese (strong flavor and quantity), including the use of malt vinegar (which he advises against).  After 90 minutes of constant eating and chewing, and not much further to go, Kale brought his fist to his mouth, looked up at us with watery eyes, then suddenly his cheeks expanded, lowered his head to his plate, and expelled a portion of his comsumed Challenge onto what was left of it.  It was one of the most graceful and discreet pukes I have ever witnessed.  The wait staff, as if they knew it was coming, immediately removed the evidence and the Challenge was over.  Kaleb is to be commended for his effort, having left it all at the table.  The 90 consecutive minutes of chewing is a physical feat in and of itself.  We left Melt at 10:45 PM, 5.5 hours after we arrived. 

Melt has terrific food, but the wait makes dining there a serious commitment that has to be planned for and not a place I could go very often.  I would suggest that if you're going to go, make sure you go with someone that is going to attempt the Challenge. 

State of the Union Analysis

Here is my thoughtful analysis about the President's State of the Union speech Tuesday night.

(crickets chirping)

I didn't see one word of it.  Why should anyone watch a speech from this particular President?  Is there anything he can read aloud to us that actually has any meaning whatsoever?  How many more times do I have to hear him read the same hollow campaign rhetoric?  What he says has no bearing whatsoever on what his administration actually does.  Does anyone out there still believe he even knows anything at all or what he's even saying?  Is it any surprise that the least experienced, least accomplished Presidential candidate we've ever seen is well on his way to being one of the least effective President's we've ever seen?  Watching a speech by this President is a complete and total waste of time.  His words mean nothing. 

I watched all of President Clinton's State of the Union addresses, knowing that Clinton was an outright liar.  But I would watch because his lies had meaning.  I would look for the lies, and try to figure out why he was lying and what he was up to.  But this President is a legitimate empty suit, speaking empty words and phrases.

Does anyone take this President seriously when he spends his first two years in office recklessly spending at previously unthinkable levels and printing massive amounts of money out of thin air, then offers to freeze spending at that ludicrous and unsustainable level and calls it being responsible?  Is there anything that this President is presiding over that is improving, let alone doing well?  Why should I continue to bother listening to a leader who has proven that he has no idea what he is talking about and everything he touches gets worse?

The Lord Looks at the Heart

After Saul's disobedience, the Lord sent Samuel to anoint a new king and led him to the family of a man named Jesse.  Here's I Samuel 16:6-12...

⁶ When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”
 ⁷ But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
 ⁸ Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” ⁹ Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the LORD chosen this one.” ¹⁰ Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The LORD has not chosen these.” ¹¹ So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”
   “There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”
   Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”
 ¹² So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.
   Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.”

We live in a superficial, shallow culture where outward appearances are severely over-valued.  But God looks at the heart and made each one of us exactly as He planned to, giving us all of the talents and abilities we need to reach our destiny in service to Christ.  We need to take the callings the Lord has given us and pursue them boldly with our confidence in Him.  Remember, the only one that can keep you from fulfilling your destiny in Christ is yourself.  If your heart is pure and you do your best, great things will happen.

The Epic Fail of Mel Gibson

My three favorite movies are Braveheart, The Patriot, and We Were Soldiers, probably in that order.  All three of course are Mel Gibson movies.  He is an undeniably great actor and a gifted director and producer with incredible accomplishments in the film industry.  Until 2005.  Let's take a brief look at his career in the last five years...

• Produced and directed Apocalypto (2006), which I didn't think was too bad.
• Produced a failed sitcom that I've never heard of before looking at his bio today.
• Played the lead role in Edge of Darkness (2010), which was awful.

So what happened?  Well, Mel Gibson is a drunken racist idiot!  He has publicly admitted to his struggles with alcohol.  During this time of colossal under-achievement, he got divorced, hooked up with a girl Russian that he had a baby with, broke up with her, and he's been in trouble with the law several times.  His life is a wreck.  And he looks like Saddam Hussein.
















Many people think that drinking is harmless, but its not.  Gibson has totally wasted his God-given talents for the last 5 years and counting and wrecked his family.  Alcohol used as a diversion from one's reality is especially dangerous, but getting drunk for any reason has consequences.  Ask yourself if drinking is really worth it, and if you need more evidence that it's not, make a list of the positives and negatives that it produces.  That should provide some clarity.

Places I've Hiked or Backpacked

It's January 12.  It's snowing.  So I've compiled a list of places I have hiked or backpacked, and because I like to rank things, I ranked them from first to worst.

1.  Zion National Park, UT

2.  Bryce Canyon National Park, UT 

3.  Arches National Park, UT

4.  Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, MI

5.  Canyonlands National Park, UT

6.  Grand Canyon National Park, AZ

7.  Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, MI

8.  Shenandoah National Park, VA

9.  West Canada Lakes Wilderness, NY

10.  Dolly Sods Wilderness, WV

11.  Red River Gorge, KY

12.  Letchworth State Park, NY

13.  Otter Creek Wilderness, WV

14.  Old Logger's Path, PA

15.  Hocking Hills, OH

16.  Cuyahoga Valley National Park, OH

17.  Shawnee State Forest, OH

18.  Mohican State Forest, OH

19.  Wayne National Forest, OH

20.  Zaleski State Forest, OH

The Ministry Example of Christ

A few points about ministry here using the ultimate example, Christ himself...

How did Jesus minister?  He preached, taught, served, mentored, counseled, healed, performed miracles, prophesied, reached the lost and provided an example.

Where did he do these things at?  In people's homes, the streets, in the fields, on mountains, in the wilderness, in the Temple and synagogues, on boats, at parties, and even while on the Cross.

Who did Jesus minister to?  Family, friends, enemies, children, old people, women, men, prostitutes, thieves, tax collectors, the rich, the poor, Jews, gentiles, government officials, and church leaders. 

1.  Jesus ministered in every way, everywhere, to everybody.  He ministered wherever he was to whomever was there.  No exceptions or exemptions. 

2.  He treated his world like a missions field.  He met the needs of the people where they were at, rather than waiting for people to come to him (although people eventually flocked to him in droves because of who he was and the effectiveness of his ministry).

3.  Every method of ministry Jesus used was effective and important, and remains so today.

From the example of Christ himself and his teachings, we know that every believer is called to do something... to serve as best we can with what we have in the context we've been placed.  Whatever the Lord has called us to do is important or else He wouldn't have called us and gifted us to do it.  Serving the Lord is a way of life that must reach beyond the walls of the Church.  And no one is out of reach or beyond hope... just because someone won't go to church doesn't mean we can't try to reach them anyways.  If Christians today would just take what they've been given and honor Him with it by serving others, fewer souls would be left on the battlefield and America and the world would be in a different place right now.

Dave Barry's 2010 Year in Review

I always enjoy Dave Barry's Year in Reviews.  It's long, but witty and entertaining.  Worth a read.

What I watch on TV

I don't watch all that much TV, but these are the current shows that I do watch. 

• Foxnews:  This is my default channel.  I watch or listen to it every day. 
• Football.  I love football, and if there is any random NFL game on I'll watch it.
• Deadliest Catch:  I'm surprised it hasn't gotten old yet after six seasons, but I still find crab fishing interesting.
• Deadliest Warrior:  This show pits historical warriors in hypothetical match-ups.  The methods they use and the results they come up frustrate the heck out of me, but I watch anyways.  
• Pawn Stars:  There is no end to the cool stuff that gets brought into their shop.
• Swamp People:  A new show on History Channel about alligator hunting, it's the hillbilly version of Deadliest Catch.  
• Man V. Food:  This show plays on my love of big food and America.  
• Ghost Adventures:  These idiots crack me up. 
• Gold Rush:  There's only been a few episodes of this, but there will be seven more on the next seven Friday nights.  Basically, a group of guys sold their businesses, combined their resources, bought a claim in Alaska with the intention of mining for gold.  Risky stuff, and only one of them seems to have a clue what he's doing.   

The New Speaker

As you may know, John Boehner was sworn in as Speaker of the House today.  Boehner has come under criticism in recent weeks for two reasons;  skepticism from conservatives who have been burnt before by Republicans when we've given them power, and his occasional display of emotion in the form of tears.  I'm giving Boehner the benefit of a doubt on both accounts until proven otherwise.

Boehner's voting record over his years in Congress is solidly conservative on all the issues, and he does have a record of fighting corruption.  He also has the backing of scores of new conservatives in Congress that I believe will hold him accountable if he is to happen stray too far down the road of compromise.  He's even placed some of these freshman in key leadership positions, which is unprecedented.  I think he gets it and will do just fine, but I will certainly be keeping an eye him.  Trust but verify.

Another reason I'm not skeptical of Boehner is his background.  He was one of 11 children that grew up in a small house in Cincinnati.  In 1968, he enlisted in the Navy (during Vietnam) but was discharged because of his back.  He worked his way through Xavier University for seven years to get his business degree, and then worked his way up in a small business to become President of the company before running for public office.  His experience involves growing up relatively poor, a lot of hard work to get through college, more hard work to be successful in business, and public service.  He's lived the American dream, and I believe that will serve him well as Speaker of the House.  I also suspect his experience is the reason for his emotional acceptance of the Speakership.  America can do that to a man.

An Evaluation of Eric Mangini

Allow me to weigh some of the positives and negatives of Eric Mangini being the head coach of the Cleveland Browns for the last two seasons, and then explore whether he should return for a third.

Positives

• The players always give a strong effort. 
• The character of the team is better.
• A legitimate running game has been developed.
• The team finds a way to compete in games despite inferior talent.
• The team shows more on-field discipline evidenced by far fewer penalties.

Negatives

•  The offensive play calling at times is awful.
•  Inferior teams are left hanging around by a conservative game plan.
• In game adjustments are non-existent.
• Game and clock management are often bungled.
• The passing game is the worst in the league.
• His 2009 draft set the team back a year.
• Talent evaluation is questionable and doesn't always get his best players on the field.

Mangini has done some positive things in these two seasons, and the this team is clearly better than it was last year despite ending with the same record.  The Browns are still seriously deficient in talent and I would even suggest they have over-achieved, but some of the responsibility for the lack of talent falls on Mangini.  Some of Mangini's weaknesses have already been dealt with by bringing Holmgren and Heckert to make personnel decisions.  The biggest problem with Mangini is that there is a clear difference in philosophy between him and the higher-ups in the organization, and can the positives that Mangini brings to the table out-weigh those differences?  I don't believe so.  Mangini didn't exactly get a fair chance to implement his plan as the head coach here or in New York, but he'll be relieved of his duties tomorrow, and I won't have a problem with it.  Bringing in a coach that is in sync with the President and GM is better for the organization in the long term.  Having Holmgren here makes a coaching search an ideal scenario for the Browns, as he'll bring in someone he really wants (like Jon Gruden) and if that guy isn't there, he can coach the team himself.  I do believe some of the work that Mangini has done here the last two years will be invaluable to the next coach and that this team can become a winner next season.